8 Ferme Park Road London N4 4ED

Tel: 0208 347 9180

Autumn Opening Hours
Mon 12.00 - 18.30,
Tue 8.30 - 18.30,
Wed 9.00 - 13.00
Thurs 8.30 - 18.30
Fri 12.00 - 18.30
Sat 10.00 - 17.30
Sun Adhoc closed 12th September


GOLD: Gold membership @ £64.95 gives you a Free Bike Service worth £80 (Gold member services must be taken from September to March). Please note all courses and classes have sadly been suspended until further notice.

About Micycle

Even More Good News for Leavers

Please make sure you share this good news with all your Brexity friends.

A mere few months since your dear leader's brilliant deal has been in place and we have some great news to give you on the sunny uplands we have now entered:

-David Putman got it bang on in his resignation speech from the Lords the Film producer says ministers on ‘path to self-inflicted disaster’ and were ‘pig-ignorant’ in Brexit negotiations

Micycle Who We Are

We have been at our current location for 7 years and it is our intention to remain that small local bike shop that knows most if not all customers by name.

We work on any bike from your £50 beater bike right through to the top end road bikes.
We are a small team of seven:

Good News For Leavers

My Dear Leavers

We know that all you want is Brexit, so in recognition of this we at Micycle have decided to give you a full WTO Brexit today the very first company in the UK to do this.

On all your final bills at Micycle we will add 28% WTO tariff (please don't let the remoaners know this, as we do not want them getting something they have done little to deserve). All bills can of course be paid for in Euros

Obviously we will only work on your bike once we have completed the remoaners bikes.

Our Truly Useless Lying Government

There have been too many cock-ups, too much cronyism, too many U-turns, too much overpromising. In January 2021 alone because Mr Johnson played politics with Christmas the UK had 39,430 deaths due to Covid-19.

By no means an exhaustive and in no particular order I give you their lowlights.

-When the report into the government appalling handling of the first phase of the Covid pandemic came out the snivelling Mr lying Johnson was hiding in friends posh villa. What a surprise he really is a gigantic cowardly turd.

-About sums up how useless Mr lying Johnson is
Despite being one of the first countries to develop a test for Covid in January 2020, the UK “squandered” its lead and “converted it into one of permanent crisis”. The consequences were profound, the report says. “For a country with a world-class expertise in data analysis, to face the biggest health crisis in 100 years with virtually no data to analyse was an almost unimaginable setback.”

-Mr lying Johnson time to resign, Britain’s early handling of the coronavirus pandemic was one of the worst public health failures in UK history, with ministers and scientists taking a “fatalistic” approach that exacerbated the death toll, a landmark inquiry has found.

-Mr lying Johnson and his shit government are really taking uselessness to a new level.
Families bereaved by Covid have expressed pain at revelations that a government exercise modelling a large-scale coronavirus outbreak recommended four years before the pandemic that better preparations were needed in key areas including building stockpiles of personal protective equipment (PPE) and a contact-tracing system. Absolutely nothing was done of course. Firstly apologies to all the bereaved families the hang your heads is shame every one of you shallow lazy bunch of fuck wits then resign.

-Mr lying Johnson is going to have difficulties joking his way out of this report. Senior health officials who war-gamed the impact of a coronavirus hitting the UK, warned four years before the onset of Covid-19 of the need for stockpiles of PPE, a computerised contact tracing system and screening for foreign travellers, the Guardian can reveal.
The relatives of 150k who have list love ones might want a quite word in Mr lying Johnson ears.

-Mr lying Johnson trying to make out that he is concerned by the rise of crime againts women in his party conference speech is say the least a little disingenuous.
Dal Babu, a former chief superintendent with the Metropolitan police who retired in 2013, said more than a decade of austerity had dealt “a massive body blow” to the police and hampered its ability to tackle male violence against women and girls.“Resources have never been pulled in such a dramatic way as they have been in the last 10 years – and people want to relinquish responsibility ". Mr lying Johnson was in Mr Cameron and Mrs May governments and voted for each and every cut.

According to analysis by the police researcher Gavin Hales, published by the Police Foundation, after nine years of austerity in March
-150+k dead through covid., highest infection rate in the world, higest national debit ever, petrol panic buying, crops rotting in the feilds, pigs having to be shot and the binned, supermarket shelves empty, shortage of HGV drivers and all the c.. ts can wang on about at their conference is wokeism. What an utter bunch of c.. ts they are.

-In replying to Mr lying Johnson In response, Nick Allen, the chief executive of the British Meat Processors Association, said it was “nonsense” to claim the problems in the sector were all down to low wages. He said: The idea that we have just been dependent on cheap labour, we haven’t been investing in infrastructure, is utter nonsense.It is lot more complicated than that. Even though we have increased wages quite dramatically, we are still not getting people wanting to do that job. He said pig farmers were facing a “nightmare scenario”, and he said the government should relax visa rules to all skilled workers from abroad to enter the country to fill vacances. In a word Mr lying Johnson is talking bollocks as always.

-Mr lying Johnson is scraping the bottom of the barrel now. In a BBC interview on Friday before the Conservative party conference, the prime minister was challenged that there was no measure for determining whether those who were more deprived were really catching up with those who were better off under the policy.
Johnson replied: “I’ve given you the most important metric – never mind life expectancy, never mind cancer outcomes – look at wage growth. This man is an utter cock.

“Wage growth is now being experienced faster by those on lower incomes. It hasn’t happened for 10 years or more. That is what I mean by levelling up.”
-Mr lying Johnson is keeping useless head down and quite probably in a fridge as we have que for petrol, pay the higest prices for gas and electricity ever, see spiv utility companies that the Tories told us would bring us cheap engery go bust almost daily, gaps on supermarkets shelves, higher food prices generally. Please don't mention the B word as it has nothing to do with anything what a toal light weight he proved to be.

-Mr lying Johnson has got a little confused. After telling all non UK workers they are not welcome in this country and in fact many HGV drivers were stranded in a car park in Kent last Christmas has now declared that he will issue 5000 temporary visas for HGV drivers to help try and ease the UK supply problems 'don't panic' as the very people who were conned into voting for the shit show that is Brexit are queuing and fighting on the petrol forecourts. Why on earth would our EU friends want to come and save Mr lying Johnson sorry arse. You could not make it up.

-More doggy dealings from a lying and moral bankruptcy government Gemma Abbott, Legal Director at Good Law Project said: “When evidence last emerged of a VIP lane for testing contracts, government said our claims were ‘completely false’. Now our legal action has proved their denial is false – there was a fast track to award lucrative test and trace contracts to firms favoured by ministers.
“Government needs to stop misleading the public and come clean. £37bn has been allocated to test and test contracts. Where has that money gone? We should not need to drag government to court to get an honest account.”

-A second data breach by the Ministry of Defence, potentially compromising the safety of Afghans who may be eligible to relocate to the UK, has been uncovered by the BBC.
Dozens of people were mistakenly copied in to an email earlier this month, with their email addresses visible to all recipients.
It is the second such breach to come to light. An investigation is under way. Why does this not surprise anyone bunch of lying useless twats.

-Some idoit has published all the names and email addresses of all the Afghan individuals who worked for the UK that are still in Afghanistan putting all their lives at risk. Mr lying Johnson just did not care his comment was it could have been handled better.

- Mr lying Johnson is at it again speaking to reporters on a plane to New York for a meeting of the UN general assembly, the prime minister suggested the Dutch government was looking to act as a mediator between the European Commission and London on the differences that have arisen in recent months.
“I talked to Mark Rutte [the Dutch PM] the other night, who wanted to come and see if he could mediate on the issue and I said, you know, we really want to make progress,” Johnson had said. “We seek a solution, but it has to be one that allows the free movement of goods between all parts of our country.”
Dutch diplomatic sources expressed surprise at the prime minister’s comments, insisting that Rutte had instead specifically urged Johnson to be pragmatic in his dealings with the European Commission. Such an embarrassing twat.

-At last the Mr lying Johnson has finally done something we at Micycle heartly agree with and has sacked that completely useless Mr Williamson who was let's be honest was the most embarrassing cabinet minister ever. A TOTAL KNOB. Sadly he has promoted M/s Dorries and M/s Truss what on earth must the rest of world be thinking that such dullards can rise to minister level in the UK.

-Chronic neglect of the NHS, poor pandemic preparedness and flawed government policies have contributed to the appalling impact of the Covid-19 crisis in the UK, according to a damning assessment from the British Medical Association.

-We heard this on a radio show the other day and have been 'surprised' that the lack luster msm have not run with it. The lying government's new national insurance rise is expected to raise 36 billion pounds over the next three years. Coincidentally the exact same figure that Mr lying Johnson and his good friend Ms Dido have wasted on the non working Track and Trace. Should we not just ask for our money back??

-We at Micycle could not agree more with the University of Oxford’s vice-chancellor who has said she is “embarrassed” that Michael Gove studied at the institution following his infamous comments during the Brexit campaign that people have “had enough of experts”.
The chancellor of the duchy of Lancaster was criticised over the remark made three weeks before Britain voted to leave the European Union in 2016.
Prof Louise Richardson, the university’s vice-chancellor, said the development of Covid-19 vaccines, such as the one devised by Oxford, illustrated the importance of experts.

-Mr Rabb can not even do mock humility as he sunned himself on the sun lounger. A total and utter knob.

M/S Hoey that very nice Brexit supporting Labour ex MP has rather let the cat out of the bag. She admitted that Northern Ireland was a price worth paying for our shitty Brexit. The odd thing is she is from NI. The Brexit supporters appear to be getting further from reality day by day..........

-Gen Lord Richard Dannatt’s commented, Amid bitter recriminations between government departments over who was to blame for leaving behind thousands of people with links to the UK, Dannatt questioned why ministers had not engaged earlier on the safety of Afghan allies, given that the issue had been raised repeatedly by senior army officers.
“On the particular issue of those who we knew were in danger, people who had worked for us, interpreters, former locally engaged civilians, this issue has been in the media,” he told Times Radio.
“This issue has been on politicians’ desks for two to three years and, certainly, it’s been there during the course of this year … Back in July, 45 senior officers wrote to the government … saying there are people we are concerned about and if we don’t do the right thing, their blood will be on our hands. It is unfathomable why it would appear that the government was asleep on watch.” Not very surprising in our opinion Mr Johnson is just not fit for purpose and his fourth rate cabinet even less so if that is possible.

-Mr Johnson was heard asking a civil servant at the home office where he was hoping to get some kudos from leaving Brits in Afghanistan.
"are you dealing with the emails from those we have left in Afghanistan, I've been getting them as well" What a horrible little person Mr Johnson is.

-The lies keep coming now they are trying to pass off minor refurbishments and adding of a ward to existing hospitals as it being a 'a new hospital' what utter wankers Mr Johnson and his cabinet are now they have become beneath contempt.

-Dominic Raab is facing increasing pressure to resign, including from some of his own party’s MPs, after claims he effectively disappeared for more than a week while on holiday during the collapse of Afghanistan, delegating almost all duties to juniors. Also liaring about when he was ad ised to come home from his £40,000 holiday!
Just about sums our government up.

-They vast majority of them are just knobs. The Commons Speaker, Sir Lindsay Hoyle, is facing calls to urge MPs to wear masks in the chamber, after cabinet ministers and many Tory backbenchers shunned the advice during a packed eight-hour debate on Afghanistan.

-Well if this doesn't seal quite how crap our current government is nothing will wake you muppets up. Trump team thought UK officials ‘out of their minds’ aiming for herd immunity, book says. Ponder that for a moment.

-I had quite a bit of sympathy for the Tories over Afghanistan until I saw all but two of the front bench mask less smirking that most of them had been on holiday as the shit show was unfolding
They really are the pits total knobs to a man and woman.

-This is all is becoming so familiar: Dr Ashraf Chohan, founder and chair of Conservative Friends of the NHS, which aims to forge ties between politicians and healthcare workers in the private and public sectors, is the sole director of 1Rapid Clinics, a government-approved Covid-19 testing company that some customers have claimed sent results back late, lost samples and refused refunds.
Chohan’s testing company is just one of a number of private firms with links to the Conservatives. Details of his involvement have emerged amid concern that the for-profit Covid testing regime put in place by the government is on the brink of collapse.
The industry has left a trail of unhappy holidaymakers complaining that the testing kits, or the results from those kits, often failed to arrive as promised, ultimately placing an extra burden on the NHS, which is supplying free tests for those let down by private providers.
The firms typically charge £80-£200 for pre-bought PCR tests that are mandatory for people arriving in the UK, almost twice the price that passengers pay in Europe. It is thought travellers to the UK have spent at least £500m on PCR tests from private companies since mid-May.

-The government is acting as if they have hit the ball out of the park with regards the pandemic. It could not be further from the truth, in last two weeks alone we have had over 400k new infections and over 1100 deaths. How they still get support shows just how far as nation we have fallen and let ourselves down .

-David Cameron made about $10m (£7m) from Greensill Capital before the finance firm he lobbied on behalf of collapsed, according to the BBC. Panorama said it had obtained documents showing the former prime minister received the sum from cashing in shares he held in the company worth $4.5m (about £3.3m) in 2019, in addition to an annual salary of $1m (£720,000).
For a completely useless Politican he did remarkably well.

-A letter to Boris Johnson sent a fortnight ago by James Ramsbotham called on the prime minister to save the north-east from the “damage being done to our economy” by Brexit and urged him to give it his “most urgent and personal attention”. Two weeks later, it remains unanswered.
Well that would of shocked us!!!!!
Ramsbotham is the chief executive of the North East England Chamber of Commerce and speaks for thousands of businesses caught by the red tape and extra costs of complying with EU rules. In a recent survey, 38% of members said sales to Europe had fallen since January.

-Same old bollocks from a tenth rate government Allegra Stratton, the prime minister’s press spokesperson for the Cop26 talks, raised eyebrows last week when she admitted she would stick to her diesel car, rather than go electric. She also appeared to suggest people could join the Green party to fight the climate crisis, and well-meaning advice to save resources by not rinsing dishes and freezing leftover bread drew more ridicule.

-When John Kerry, climate envoy to US President Joe Biden, gave a major speech at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew – to an audience surprisingly lacking any government top brass. Kerry pointedly heaped praise and bonhomie instead on the Labour mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, and Ed Miliband, the shadow business secretary, in the front row where ministers would normally sit. This tory government is rude as well as shit.

-You couldn't make this shit up........ We’re on the brink of catastrophe, warns Tory climate chief
Cop26 meeting is last chance, says Alok Sharma as he backs UK’s plan for new oil and gas fields.

-What a pathetic bunch of muppets we having running this country................. UK government spends more than £163,000 on union flags in two years
Purchases have increased across departments, revealing embrace of the flag under The lying Mr Johnson.

-Well why will this not surprise anyone Cop26 president Alok Sharma flew to 30 countries in 7 months. The Minister responsible for climate conference travelled mainly during winter and spring and did not isolate. Don't think we have much of chance of sorting out climate change with this bunch of muppets in charge.

-Yet more lies from a lying government they now just can't stop themselves everything they say is somehow a lie or bending the truth. The Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) this week released a statement headlined: “Visa-free short-term touring allowed in 19 member states.” It said following discussions with every EU member state it could confirm that performers did not need visas or work permits for short-term tours in 19 countries
It was interpreted by some as a step forward. But David Martin, the chief executive of the Featured Artists Coalition, said it changed nothing. “We knew all this in January. The idea that the government has done something fantastic or that it has won some concessions is not correct. The announcement is not new information to the music industry.”
The difficulties involved in touring remained, he said, with the rules differing in each of those 19 countries. Also, he said, visas and work permits were only one issue causing enormous problems because of Brexit.
“I’m feeling frustrated and really, really concerned about the future of our industry and the ability to tour in Europe. It is by far our biggest market … it is four times the size of the US market for British artists – it is huge.”

-For months we have been told by the lying Mr Johnson that we were world beating in the vaccine roll out and this was true for a good while, but he of course continues to pedal this myth as we drop further down the percentage of our population vaccinated table. With many in the EU leaving us in their wake while they have donated millions of vaccines to poorer countries, while the UK has yet to donate a single dose. God Mr Johnson is like a spoiled lying brat.

-The traffic light system for overseas travel what a total cock up like most things Mr Shapps (if that the name he is using this week) is involved with. What a truly third rate bunch of low life's we have in Mr Johnson's cabinet, but of course Mr Johnson likes this as they make even him seem half decent. What a shit show.

-The hereditary pier Mr Bethell who was requested to hand over details on his personal phone which he had been using to negotiate health procurement contracts worth Billions by a judge, because they had began to give off a dodgy whiff.
Surprise surprise his phone has been broken and the court has been told he won't be able to comply with the judges order.
We think he should consider his position as if he can not look after a phone how can he possibly be up to his job! Resign you tory knob.

-What an awful example Mr Johnson is how many children has he now fathered 7,8,9,10?
It is pathetic how he behaves being a father is a great privilege and one that takes a lot of hard work. He is just not the type of person that should be leading a country. I am shocked with the Tory party that they tolerate this knob of a man, shame on you.

-Mr Johnson lying again in a interview on LBC stated we had the highest percentage of population vaccinated just more lies from this lying knob, what he did not mention is that we have one of worst death rates, most expensive and ineffective track and trace, one of worst economic fall out all due to useless Stewardship of UK plc. Just resign you lying waste of space.

-Mr Johnson new crime initiative has not gone down that well. One police chief said of the overall package: “It is just weird … and a bit gimmicky. Why tag burglars on release from prison, and not domestic violence offenders, or rape suspects?” Yes indeed more incoherent rubbish from Mr Johnson. Think he might be missing that nice Mr Cummings more than he would like to admit. Dreadful bunch of useless populists.

-Mr Javid has apologised for saying it was time to stop “cowering” from Covid, after an outcry from families bereaved by the virus. What was this numity thinking of they are at best fourth rate. Do the decent thing and resign.

-Mr Johnson lies in the HoC nearly everyday that he attends. M/s Butler calls him out and tells the truth about his lies and she get suspended. Now we have a Charlatan as PM we need new rules.

-Mr Johnson is said to have glibly said "get Covid live longer". Not really sure what the relatives of the people who have died after contracting Covid-19 will think of their PM being such a knob?

-19th July 2021 'Freedom Day' according to lying Mr Johnson sadly Himself, Mr Sunak & Mr Javid all having to isolate what a shower they have become utterly useless the lot of them.

-That nice Mr Cummings spilling more beans on Mr Johnson. The PM thought that as it only really affected the over 80's (would have thought many of this age group voted for him as leader of the Tory party) no need for a lock down happy to let them die. How caring Mr Johnson is proving to be.

-Mr Johnson is to take part in the pilot scheme to avoid isolating 2 hrs later another U-turn tail between his legs and legs it to chequers to self isolate. Breaking yet another rule of leaving his main residence. after being pinged. You are a shit and lying PM resign.

-As England defender Mings so succinctly put it about the shamless M/s Patel “You don’t get to stoke the fire at the beginning of the tournament by labelling our anti-racism message as ‘Gesture Politics’ & then pretend to be disgusted when the very thing we’re campaigning against, happens.”

-Mr lying Johnson has even out done himself seven days he after he proclaimed freedom day stating that masks would longer would be required to now saying that it would be very advisable to wear masks what is this floundering lying twat doing.

-After giving support to the fans booing the England football team taking the knee prior to matches The lying Mr Johnson and M/s Patel are trying to say they are appalled by the racist abuse the England players received after the missed penalties. One corker Tory MP Natalie Eiphicke said "They lost- would it be ungenerous to suggest Rashford should have spent more time perfecting his game and less time playing politics?"

-Now the lying Mr Johnson has been at the dressing up box again and is trying to garner support by turning up to Matches in an England shirt with his name on the back what a muppet. a) You are not one of lads you went to Eaton not sure you ever played football there. b) You didn't even know which homes nations had qualified for the Euros. c) Does he not realise that he is meant to be PM for all of the UK. What an utter knob you are Mr Johnson.

-As a New Zealand government spoke person so succinctly put it "We always have to be a bit sceptical about learning lessons from countries that have failed very badly. ”Spot on resign you useless lying idiot Mr Johnson.

-Mr Cummings the former top adviser said Mr Johnson "lies so blatantly, so naturally, so regularly" that he sees "no real distinction".
In a blog post, Mr Cummings claimed Mr Johnson "regularly admits it's ludicrous he's prime minister".

-Mr Bethell 'a health minister in the lords' is facing fresh calls to lose his job after it emerged that he apparently failed to declare a week’s worth of meetings with companies who went on to be granted £1bn contracts. There seems nothing that can shame this bunch of lying twats to resign.

-Now the lying Mr Johnson is trying to pretend that he sacked Mr Hancock when on the Friday he stated that he had accepted the apology and the matter was closed. Is there nothing he won't lie about?

-Matt Hancock has let himself, his family, the electorate, but most of all the families who have lost someone to Covid 19 badly down. Not for the 'affair', but for his quite breath taking useless arrogance while as health secretary we have 150k plus deaths one of the very worst in the world he should resign immediately and Mr Johnson should follow suit.

-Delta variant out of control and threatening to un do the vaccine success, but sadly this will not make the Gammon think or even reflect as their heads are so far up their arses it will need their closets relative to be in trouble before the wake up.

“The PM agreed that Hancock’s failures were a catastrophe but refused to fire him,” Cummings claimed.

-Right to protest, this snow flak Government is now trying to make noisy protests illegal and a protests can mean as few as one person!! What a complete bunch of wankers this lot are with the lying Mr Johnson as their leader.

-You have to laugh Mr I middle name Smith actual proposed that we should re-adopt imperial measurements since we have left the EU not only did he cock up the universal credit reforms causing untold hardship and worse. He now wants the poorly educated gammon to embraces 12inches to the foot and 14 lbs to the stone. Good luck there Mr middle name!!!! Knob head.

-If Mr Hancock is 'fucking hopeless' why did the lying Mr Johnson not sack the health Minster in the middle of deadly pandemic did he not want to safe lives??

-Samuel Kasumu said :
“There are some people in the government who feel like the right way to win is to pick a fight on the culture war and to exploit division,” he told the Guardian in an interview. “I worry about that. It seems like people have very short memories, and they’ve already forgotten Jo Cox.”

-4th June Matt Hancock "It's our job to save lives". You lying twat tell that to the 150,000+ dead you knob.

-Maybe this lying bunch of twats know a lot more than us, but why if they are worried about a region and a new infectious variant do we wait five days before putting on the amber list makes no sense, but they have not made sense at any point in the pandemic so far. Par for the course.

-You utter KNOB Mr Johnson 'Nothing in data' to suggest delay to 21 June reopening, but PM stresses need for caution. You are a lying scum bag just last week alone new infections rose by over 10,000, because you kept borders open with India when you knew they very fighting a new variant.

-ONE POINT FIVE NINE MILLION travellers have flown into the UK in the four lockdown months from January to April alone, two-thirds of whom were not UK nationals. What a useless bunch of wankers they are.

-This has been an odd day to say the least now Mr Cummings is backing up what we have been saying for over a year now that the government just lie and lie. Dominic Cummings said he called for Matt Hancock to be sacked “almost every day” due to alleged “criminal” behaviour but claimed Boris Johnson was advised to retain the health secretary because “he’s the person you fire when an inquiry comes along”. They should resign on mass.

-We must have reached the very bottom today. Mr Cummings has described and highlighted just how useless Mr Johnson and his shit show of a cabinet has failed our country.

-This will most probably not shock many but Of the 45 constituencies receiving a share of the first £1bn in funding for struggling towns, 39 are represented by Tory MPs most of oddly enough not struggling that much.

-Surprise surprise the lying shambles that is this government is at it again while the Indian variant spread particular fast in school children in the Bolton area. Scientists, unions and teachers concerns were ignored after the crucial page has been cut from a Public Health England report after interference from number 10.

-Feel a little bit discombobulated today apart from the name Great British Rail and not having the courage to say what it is renationalisation of the running of railways I think it is a good idea and moving in the right direction. So lets give the Lying government a slap on the back for this piece of legislation.

-John Crace beautiful summed up the liar Mr Johnson "this is the Johnson paradox. The prime minister with the man-of-the-people vibe who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself."

-Jenny McGee, who kept vigil by PM’s bedside when he was sick with Covid, derides
government’s handling of pandemic. Very sad, but about says all you need know about the shallowness of Lying Mr Johnson and his band of third rate cabinet members.

-Open up, don't open up, go to restaurants, don't go to restaurants, go to shops, don't go to shops, go on holiday, don't go on holiday, hug your friends, don't hug your friends, go back to work, work from home. About says it all, but remember if it goes well it is the government good decision, but if it goes tits up like everything else that this bunch of lying tossers have done surprise surprise it is our fault.

-No 10 has defended its decision not to ban travel from India sooner, as India was reporting more than 100,000 cases a day by 5 April, but was not added to the red list until 23 April. Just how crap this government is open to debate, but this late sloppy bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted takes the piss of us the public. Pakistan with one hundred of the infection rate of Indian was on the red list on the 9th April. Yes go figure that one you fawning Mr Johnson supporters.

-Mr Hancock and Ms Patel how many more times do we have to hear your whinging bleating's it was a pandemic that is why we had to favour a mate with a spec-tactically large juicy fat government PPE contract!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pair of moaning creeps.

-At Micycle we are shocked down to our bottom bracket Mr Johnson has apparently been lying again about the cost of his holiday and who paid for it. But his poorly educated fans just keep their heads firmly buried in the sand.

-Oddly enough I feel for our hopeless government in this area as it it impossible to say how the Covid-19 virus will mutate, but why on earth did Mr Johnson spout of for the last couple of months we are on an irreversible roadmap out of lockdown. As the brilliant Marina Hyde said of that other lovely Tory the Nice Mr Cameron he is ducking aunt which I think is an adept description of the Lying Mr Johnson.

-We have known for a very long time that Mr Johnson is a liar, but now we know he is a coward only interested in him self as he tries to bury the inquiry into his shoddy handling of the pandemic.

-The good folk of Hartlepool decided to reject a NHS doctor and his nurse wife in favour of a land owning ex tax dodging haven dweller. Are you really that Stupid!

-Nappy Gate? Mr Raab, who we thought was hiding in a fridge has said he does not know if a Conservative donor was asked to pay for Boris Johnson’s childcare costs, amid new allegations of undeclared donations and loans to fund the prime minister’s lifestyle.

-Is it possible that anyone could have done more to let down Zaghari-Ratcliffe not only has she had to spend the last five years in jail partly due to Mr Johnson big mouth, but it also appears that she will have to spend at least another year in jail due to our Governments poor negotiation skills. Get your arse off the Rattan sofa and do something Mr Johnson.

-Seems like other people are also under no illusions of what a liar Mr Johnson is

-The failure of Greensill Capital will cost UK taxpayers up to £5bn, a parliamentary inquiry has heard, as one expert said the lender’s business model was “as close to fraud as you could imagine”.

-Not sure this bunch of liars can sink much lower, but they are giving it a really good go. No 10 refuses to deny PM said he would rather ‘let the virus rip’ than impose strict curbs. We can not wait for the British Public to wake up a smell the stench that is coming off this truly appalling government

-Not normally a paper we read but this caught our eye this morning. Daily Mail reported an unnamed source as claiming Johnson said at a Downing Street meeting in October: “No more fucking lockdowns – let the bodies pile high in their thousands.” Not only he is a lying knob, but a particularly nasty one at that.

-In a recent poll of Northern Ireland voters last week, only 5% of respondents said they trusted the UK government to handle Northern Ireland’s interests in post-Brexit arrangements. One wonders how deluded this 5% are to believe anything this lying government les by Mr Lying himself.

-The seven principles of public life, integrity, selflessness, objectivity, accountability, openness, honesty and leadership. Enunciated by Lord Nolan in 1995, sadly our own lying Mr Johnson has or follows none of the above.

-Obviously Mr Johnson is lying again stating that the No. 11 refurbishment cost £58k which he funded personally. While a former colleague. The former attorney general Dominic Grieve has described Boris Johnson as a “vacuum of integrity” as the prime minister came under pressure to explain how the refurbishment of the Downing Street flat was paid for following an explosive attack by his former chief adviser Dominic Cummings.

-That nice Mr Cummings seems to be coming around to having the same impression of Mr Johnson that we at Micycle have had for some considerable time now that he just lies and lies.
In his normal friendly manner the Ex-aide alleges PM tried to quash leak inquiry that implicated ally and wanted donors to fund work on flat. Happy days.

-Dodgy Mr Cameron snuffling at the tax payers trough luckily for us he is so useless it all rather back fired on him.

-Dodgy Mr Hancock oddly enough forgot to mention that a company he owns 15% share in is owned by his Mum and Sister and yes they have been getting large contracts from the NHS. Nothing to see here except another lying self serving Tory.

-Between April and November 2020 – the most recent month for which figures have been published – Conservative MPs claimed almost £3m in housing rent on expenses.
The Observer has identified 42 Conservative MPs who claim their own rent on expenses while at the same time renting out other residential properties for at least £10,000 a year in income.

-Officials at Downing Street have been accused of rewriting much of its controversial report into racial and ethnic disparities, despite appointing an independent commission to conduct an honest investigation into inequality in the UK. Well that must of shocked you all they do is lie and then lie some more.

-In December 2019, Boris Johnson opted to put the border in the Irish Sea to get his Brexit deal over the line. He then chose to lie about it, live on TV, saying there would be no border and that no one would have to fill in any forms.
At the beginning of this year, however, the truth began to seep through. Unionists found it hard to believe that the British PM would have brazenly lied to them. We are Micycle are not at all surprised that the lying Mr Johnson lied, as they say a leopard can not change its spots.

-Leading scientists warned last night that the government was risking a third wave of Covid-19 by easing the lockdown at a time when official data still shows virus hotspots across many parts of the country.

-Can this repulsive government sink any lower A Conservative MP has kept the party whip despite sending sexually suggestive messages to a young female intern, and complaints about his behaviour towards a male parliamentary worker.

-In its annual report on human rights around the world, Amnesty International says the UK’s increasingly hostile attitude towards upholding and preserving human rights legislation raises “serious concerns”.

-Rats in a sack, Mr Duncan ex MP calls Mr Williamson “over-ambitious, claiming he was pushing for the position of home secretary when Amber Rudd resigned over the Windrush scandal, and denounces him as a “venomous, self-seeking little shit” as he accuses him of working against the then prime minister, Theresa May.

-I thought he was just a lying knob but I think Mr Duncan has a much better insight than me.
Boris Johnson’s former deputy at the Foreign Office has described him as an “embarrassing buffoon” in a new book.
Mr Duncan, the MP for Rutland and Melton from 1992 until the last election, said the prime minister was “a clown, a self-centred ego, an embarrassing buffoon, with an untidy mind and sub-zero diplomatic judgment”.
He is an international stain on our reputation,” Duncan added.

-Black and minority ethnic business leaders who contributed to the controversial government report on race have widely condemned its findings, saying their recommendations were ignored.

-The government has scrapped its flagship green homes grant scheme, the centrepiece of Boris Johnson’s promise to “build back greener” from the Covid-19 pandemic, just over six months after its launch.

-Stewart Lee beautiful summed up the hopeless Mr Johnson, last Tuesday, when Dominic Yateswinelodge from the Metro asked Shake Hands live on TV: “When the time comes to describe this period to future generations, how will we explain how Britain suffered the highest death toll in Europe and the deepest recession?”, Boris Herd Immunity Johnson replied: “About aaah about aah you know your sort of league table question I I I you know I think I mean I er respectfully er go back to the answer you would have heard from the podium many times which is that the er the er the the pandemic is er alas tragically is not over yet er across the world and we will continue to er protect everyone is er to the to the er to the best of to the best of our abilities. This this this is not over and I think the international comparisons are are are premature at this stage.”
Cunning Shake Hands’s calculated ineloquence had created the illusion that something, of some sort, had been said.

-Do you think that the commercial landlords who are big Tory supporters might have been having a little word in Mr Johnson ear. Mr Johnson has sparked new controversy over when employees should return to their workplaces by suggesting people have had enough “days off” at home during the pandemic, and should try to go back to their offices. You can just stop lying can you Mr Johnson.

-Wonder why this loop hole has been inculded the government has introduced a regulation that allows people to leave the UK to prepare a second home for sale or rent. Mr Johnson's Dad!

-We only have 130k dead and this bunch of muppets say the union flag should be flown from all UK government buildings every day and councils will be urged to do the same from their premises, ministers have announced, you could not make it up the drivel they come out with.

-David Cameron is being investigated by a lobbying watchdog after reports he contacted government officials on behalf of financial services company Greensill Capital.

-John Crace writing in the Guardian beautiful sums up the Knob that is Johnson "
There again, Johnson probably couldn’t do his job without a high level of denial about the mistakes he has made. If he were to seriously think of the consequences of some of his decisions, then he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night."
-Boris Johnson has told a private meeting of Tory MPs that the UK got its Covid vaccinations under way quickly thanks to "capitalism" and "greed". No decent hardworking NHS workers has delivered us the vaccine success you nasty lying man Mr Johnson.

-Billionaire tax exiles, the British National party, Saudi royals and oil-rich Gulf states have claimed millions of pounds in taxpayer-funded furlough money,.

-Following on from the police handling of the Clapham Common Vigil some police chiefs feel ‘hung out to dry’ as memo reveals home secretary’s enforcement call the Friday before. Oh ms Patel up to your bullying tendencies again.

-Nicholas Macpherson, the former permanent secretary to the Treasury, tweeted of the Tezt and Trace roll out: “It wins the prize for the most wasteful and inept public spending programme of all time.”

-Delaying the winter lockdown caused up to 27,000 extra deaths in England, the Resolution Foundation thinktank has claimed as it accused the government of a “huge mistake” which should be central to any public inquiry into the UK’s handling of the pandemic.

-We wonder why this shameful government has been avoiding an inquiry into the handling of the pandemic the people want one. Exclusive: Guardian poll reveals 47% of people support formal independent investigation while only 18% oppose

-At the start of the pandemic Mr Johnson was even heard to say: "The best thing would be to ignore it." And he repeatedly warned, several sources tell me, that an overreaction could do more harm than good.

-Four of Boris Johnson’s most senior staff suggested that Cabinet Office civil servants should hire a company owned by Conservative party allies, one of whom co-wrote the Tories’ 2019 election manifesto.

-A MPs’ report was scathing on UK’s handling and sharing of Covid data the Committee says the government’s lack of sufficient explanation has placed needless strain on public confidence.
The very nice Mr Gove got a particular thrashing for his contempt at not appearing before the committee and sending poorly briefed Minister in his place he really is a knob.

-Hundreds of key research projects aimed at tackling some of the world’s major problems – from antimicrobial resistance to the climate crisis – will have to be cancelled or cut back thanks to budget cuts imposed by the government.

-The test and trace programme is a staggeringly expensive scheme and was recently described by Nick Macpherson, who used to be the most senior civil servant at the Treasury, as the “most wasteful and inept public spending programme of all time”.

-British government fund established to prop up the arts and heritage sectors during the coronavirus pandemic has handed over little more than half of the money it has allocated.

-11th March The snouts have really been in the Serco trough this time, Nicholas Soames, the grandson of Winston Churchill, was paid £4.9m in total, taking his total earnings from the outsourcing firm to £23.5m since he joined in 2015. Cockburn was paid £2.4m for 2020. Much of this off government contracts how low can they go!!!!!!!

11th March You could not make this up the two top executives at Serco, one of the companies behind the government’s much-criticised £37bn test-and-trace scheme, were handed pay of £7.4m for 2020, including bonuses worth £5.5m.

-10th March Mr Johnson caught lying once again at PMQ's stating that Labour party had vote against a 2.1% increase in nurses wages and then refusing to return to House of Commons to apologise. Mr Johnson behaviour is not clever and not what we the voting public should put up with from our PM.

-Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s Budget last week included an additional £15bn for test and trace, taking the total bill to more than £37bn over two years. We can not afford to give the nurses a real pay rise?

-9th March There is no evidence to show that the government’s £22bn test-and-trace programme to combat Covid-19 in England contributed to a reduction in coronavirus infection levels, parliament’s spending watchdog has concluded.

-7th March Gavin Williamson, the education secretary, is facing criticism for awarding another £190m contract to a company blamed for the problems with a school meals voucher system in England that left families without food during the first lockdown.

6th March Downing Street has spent more than £2.6m on renovations to hold White House-style press briefings – prompting a call for Boris Johnson to “hang his head in shame” given the 1% pay rise recommended for NHS staff.

-5th March Not very surprising from the lying Mr Johnson, but possibly a new low: Mr Johnson had told parliament on 22 February: "All I will say is that the contracts are there on the record for everybody to see.” the latest document from the court confirms that the prime minister misled MPs even after it was ruled that the government had broken the law. Maybe he should consider his position as his Scottish Tory MP's and the right wing press were asking M/S Sturgeon to do for 'lying in parliament' earlier this week!

-5th March Crispin Blunt, a co-chair of the all-party parliamentary group for drug policy reform, said more than a third of all European drug deaths occurred in the UK, and OPCs should be established to reduce record levels of overdose deaths.

-5th March Mr Cummings got a 45k rise in the middle of the pandemic about 30% but Mr Johnson has decided to give NHS 1%.
Health unions reacted angrily to this proposal. “A 1% pay rise is the worst kind of insult the government could give health workers who’ve given their absolute everything over the past year. The public will be horrified. Staff will think it’s some kind of joke,” said Sara Gorton, the head of health at Unison.

-4th March Labour's leader has accused ministers of favouring Conservative areas for funding under a £1bn scheme to boost struggling towns in England.Sir Keir Starmer said regeneration money for 45 towns announced at the Budget "looks fishy" because the large majority 40 are represented by Tory MPs.
He called for criteria for the allocations, made under the Towns Fund, to be published.

-4th March The government has settled with former civil servant Sir Philip Rutnam over his claim for unfair dismissal. Sources close to Sir Philip confirmed to BBC Radio 4's PM programme that he received £340,000 plus his legal costs.
The ex-Home Office boss quit amid bullying claims against Home Secretary Priti Patel, which she denies. Of course she does! We at Micycle believe her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-4th March It appears that of all the millions of personal details logged when people were visiting shops and bars in the summer only 284 were followed up o, lucky The world beating trace has only cost the UK tax payer 15 plus billion. Yet another great result from this cracking government.

-2nd March Mr Johnson has spaffed loads of money on doing up No. 11.

-1st March About two-thirds of people in England and Wales trying to access the £500 self-isolation support payment are being rejected, according to figures obtained by BBC Reality Check. Quel surprise!

-1st March you could make this up a PR firm owned by Matthew Freud, who was closely associated with the Conservatives during David Cameron’s time as prime minister, was awarded a contract to provide “strategic communications”, including “reputation management”, for England’s beleaguered coronavirus test-and-trace system without a tender process.

-The government talks of not playing politics with Covid, of listening only to impartial science, but in fact its approach is deeply political: every triumph it claims for itself, every failure belongs to all of us. Privatise the wins, socialise the losses.

-A judge described the government position on not publishing details of contracts "historic failure" by the department, adding: "The public were entitled see who this money was going to, what it was being spent on and how the relevant contracts were awarded."

-17th Feb A “perfect storm” of low wages, cramped housing and failures of the £22bn test-and-trace scheme has led to “stubbornly high” coronavirus rates in England’s most deprived communities, an unpublished government report has found.

-Downing Street’s enthusiasm for getting some – arguably any – kind of “war on the woke” going in time to motivate the troops for this spring’s local and mayoral elections is all too clear. Sadly this tacit will work and the Muppets will get soooooooo angry.

-Un tendered contacts go to numerous companies with links to Dominic Cummings, Michael Gove and other senior Tories that had been granted emergency contracts for government work. Well that is shock to us all.

-Mr Williamson very very very worried about free speech in schools and university rather than getting kids and young people back to school safely oh and yes not bothering to get teachers vaccinated. The very worst Education secretary.

-16th Feb more irrelevant rubbish from a government with the highest death rate per captia in the world. The government is to introduce legislation that will enable academics, students or visiting speakers who are no-platformed to sue universities for compensation where they feel they have suffered because of free speech infringements. What a bunch of twats they are, so sad we have these third graders at the centre of government.

-15th Feb Border staff received guidelines on how to execute England’s new “red list” quarantine rules in an email two and a half hours before they came into force in a rollout that one worker described as “an absolute joke”.

-13th Feb Worst death rate per capita in the world and worst economic slump in the world. Now that really is world beating Mr Johnson.

-Quarantine at airports and ports a year to late and within five minutes of going live the online booking system goes down and is still not up and running 24hrs later. No doubt world beating Mr Johnson you lying knob.

-Dominic Cummings was instrumental in the process of awarding a government contract without tender to a company run by his “friends”, according to court documents that raise questions about whether the Cabinet Office may have misled the public.

-14th Feb We are now going to have bridges and tunnels between Scotland & Northern Ireland aren't we lucky that we have such a world beating Mr Johnson who can no doubt personal dig and build them himself after all he has all the high viz jackets a lying Knob could want.

-Sterile gowns were bought for £70m from a US firm last year, but safety concerns were raised when they arrived in one layer of protective packaging. The contract had not requested double packaging, as used in sterile settings. Another cracking deal done by our world beating government!

-Matt Hancock received donations (£36k) from the chair of an influential conservative thinktank after it published a report saying there was “no reason to be grateful” for the NHS during the coronavirus pandemic. Mr Hancock do the decent thing pay the money back apologise and then resign.

-Peter Oborne has now come to senses after years of praising Mr Johnson writes in his new book:
“What led the British people to put a liar into Downing Street?” Your previous cringe worth support Mr Oborne?

-The lies just keep on coming:
Whitehall sources vehemently rejected that claim, insisting freight flows were up to 95% or even 100% of normal levels on some days in January – though part of the RHA’s argument was that in many cases lorries were travelling back empty from the UK to the EU.
-We now have a Intresting situation where Mr Gove is trying to negotiate a relaxing of the friction on the Northern Irish boarder that the lying Mr Johnson insists no British PM would ever agree to and does no exist.

-The Department for Education (DfE) was “surprisingly unconcerned” with suspected large profits made by a private contractor at the centre of a free school meals fiasco and failed to reduce the costs, parliament’s spending watchdog has concluded.

-More than 1,000 people in the UK have died of Covid on average each day in January, making it the deadliest month of the pandemic so far by the government’s count, with more than 28,000 deaths as of Thursday.

-One year after the first known Covid death took place, the overall death toll, including all mentions of coronavirus on death certificates, has passed 120,000.

-Government official numbers of deaths due to CoVid 19 100,000+ (pre the reduction of the figure
by 5,000+). Highest number of deaths per capita than all other G20 countries.

-29th Jan The International Monetary Fund has downgraded forecasts for the UK’s recovery this year while the expansion of the global economy, aided by accelerating vaccine rollouts, is expected to gather pace.

-27th Jan Prof Linda Bauld, public health expert from the University of Edinburgh, said the UK's poor Covid-19 outcomes was due to "a legacy of poor decisions that were taken when we eased restrictions".

-The government spent £530m on showy Nightingale infrastructure for healthcare – but failed to invest in the staff who provide it

-25th Jan Over half of the HGV lorries delivering goods to this country are returning empty. Who do you think got the better end of the Brexit deal Mt Johnson?

-26th Jan Boris Johnson has insisted his government “did everything we could” to limit coronavirus deaths and expressed sorrow after the total UK death toll exceeded 100,000 on nearly every metric, but refused to discuss the reasons why it might be so high. This man is a utter cock it is because he is so totally unsuited to any job where you have think of others. Hang your head in shame Mr Johnson, you will go down as a even worst PM than Mr Cameron. How you can tussle your hair prior to telling the nation that we have worst death rate in the world is so contemptable that words fail me you total and complete knob.

-23rd Jan In an extraordinary twist to the Brexit saga, UK small businesses are being told by advisers working for the Department for International Trade (DIT) that the best way to circumvent border issues and VAT problems that have been piling up since 1 January is to register new firms within the EU single market, from where they can distribute their goods far more freely.

-What did Johnson, Gove and co claim? That Brexit would free us from all that Brussels red tape and wasteful bureaucracy. And what has the great deal achieved? The strangulation of cross-Channel and cross-Irish Sea trade, the erection of huge regulatory barriers in the UK, and an increase in costly, very British, bureaucracy.

-Cracking deal Mr Johnson, British shoppers who bought items from European websites are facing post-Brexit demands of more than £100 in import duties that must be paid before parcel firms will deliver the items.

-21st Jan More snuffling from the tax payers trough a company linked to the Conservative party donor and former treasurer Lord Ashcroft has been awarded a contract worth £350m by the government to provide laboratory staff for the Covid-19 testing operation.

-21st Jan British government refusing to give EU ambassador full rights and protection. Can you get any more petty Mr Johnson?

-20th Jan Thressa May "in her view, Johnson has failed to honour British values by threatening to break international law during Brexit trade negotiations and backing out of the foreign aid target, writing that these two manoeuvres had not raised our credibility in the eyes of the world”.

-19th Jan John Crace" On the day that the UK took poll position in the number of deaths per capita in the coronavirus pandemic – I’m not sure that’s what the prime minister had in mind when he described the country as world-beating – one of the biggest political stories was whether Boris Johnson treated himself to power naps during the course of his working day"

-18 days since we left the EU and Scottish and Devon fishermen protesting in London how they had been lied to by an incompetent government.

-18th Jan Mr Johnson wipps his MPs to abstain on opposition motion to retain the £20 per week uplift to universal credit payments.

-20th Jan 'Absolute carnage': EU hauliers reject UK jobs over Brexit rules. Not even three weeks since entering ing the summer uplands!

-18th Jan A new low even for Mr Johnson suggest that tabling a debate on universal credit and free school meals would lead to the left making trouble akin to the storming of the Capitol in the US.

-14th Jan Mr Reece Mog "They are British fish and they are better and happier for it". What a Kipper!

-15th Jan The UK economy is heading for a double-dip recession after official figures confirmed a renewed slump in November as the second wave of the coronavirus pandemic took hold.

-Jan 2021 food boxes to cover free school meal provision. Supposed value of £30.00 (if food was bought from Asda cost under £6.00) provided by company with close ties to Mr Johnsons party and history of donations to the Tory party.

-Mr Johnson stands by fisheries minister Victoria Prentis over admission she was too ‘busy’ to read deal, as SNP calls for resignation.

-Conservative MPs representing fishing areas angry , including in Scotland, over red tape and delays caused by the introduction of the post-Brexit fishing regime.

-Speaking to the liaison committee on Wednesday, prime minister Boris Johnson did not appear to grasp the situation facing British touring acts, incorrectly stating that British musicians have “the right to go play in any EU country for 90 out of 180 days” – the EU proposal that the government turned down.

-11th Jan 21 Mr Handcock "people should not bend the rules to suit themselves it cost lives"

-10th Jan 21 Mr Johnson goes on bike ride 7 miles from home, out of his local area not sure if bike was driven there, but sadly again taking us for fools. Two woman who drove 5 miles for walk fined £200!

-2017 Mr Johnson voicing his support for a NOBLE PEACE PRIZE for Mr Trump. Another good call by our esteemed leader Mr Johnson.

-As John Crace so beautiful put it Mr Johnson is "A man pathologically unable to make the right calls at the right time. The prime minister is a narcissistic charlatan.".

-2016 Mr Johnson under no circumstances would we ever withdraw from the Erusmas program 2020 Mr Johnson with draws uk from Erusmas.

-Extending the Christmas recess to 11th Jan to yet further avoid scrutiny and obviously a PMQs which Mr Johnson is not very good at.

-16th Dec "It would be inhuman to cancle Christmas"

-19th Dec Christmas cancled.

-23rd Dec 2000 hgv waiting to leave the Uk

-Covid 19 late December out of contol Government no ideas and no plan what to do.

-Four and half years since bent referendum only left with ffish. The gammon will never learn should have paid a little more attention at school.

-Trying to blame the leaders of Manchester City area for Covid 19 deaths irony has final died

-Mr Johnson 27th Nov "Keeping our foot on the neck of the beast" What a total knob!

-4 years and 5 months on from the bent referendum and this bunch of lying pigmies still have no idea what 'the easiest deal in history' will look like.

-21st October Mr Johnson lying again in the house of commons the house of commons that is some how it is Mr Khan fault that TFL is in debt not the pandemic

-Mr Johnsons deluded conference speech 6th October

-Mr Johnson has no idea how to get R rate down or even his own rules of what we need to do in what tier

-Mr Johnson unable to answer any question at PMQ wanting to discredit the whole process

-Mr Johnson Brexit dead lines time and again backing down and extending talks what a knob, 16th Oct again backing away from his 15th Deadline

-Missed 16,000 positive cases in last seven days 5th Oct, possible 50k plus missed track and trace

-Mr Johnson unable to explain how the above 22,000 cases were omitted from the daily totals

-Unable to get on top of second wave numbers of infections 3rd Oct over 12000 that day alone

-Passing of the internal market bill a very sad day for the rule of law

-Don't even know their own lock down rules truly pathetic

-Kent access permits

-Students being locked in their halls of residents

-Track and trace app not working with NHS Covid 19 Tests

-Provision for 7,000 queuing lorries in Kent

-Trip to Italy?

-Highest excess numbers of deaths in the whole of Europe, ONS announced 30th July

-"Flattening the hump of the camel"

-Moonshot test drivel 10th Sept

-Test and trace 16th September

-Mr Mogg HofC 17th Sept" we should stop carping and congratulate the Government for their test track record"

-M/s Dido drivel to the select committee 18th September

-U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn U- turn after after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn, never anyone in government taking responsibility or doing the right thing and resigning.

-Breaking International law just a tiny winy bit.

-Mr T Abbott

-"He is a Prime Minster of a freedom loving country" latest drivel from Mr Johnson

-Worst Prime Minster ever ever ever ever (Nick Abbot LBC best radio DJ ever ever ever)

-Worst Home Secretary ever

-Worst Foreign Secretary ever

-Worst worst Education Secretary ever

-Worst Trade Secretary ever

-Worst Business Secretary ever

-Worst LEADER OF THE HOUSE EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER complete and utter cock

-Worst worst worst worst NI Secretary ever

-Worst Government ever and that is after Mrs May's

-"Oven ready deal" election campaign slogan 2019. August 2020 deal with EU looks "very unlikely"

-Mr Johnson reneging on WA 7th Sept 2020 complete and utter ......

-Mr Johnson off on holiday through out the whole of the exam debacle

-Mass reduction of the numbers of deaths

-Awarding of non tendered contract to Public Frist who helped fuck up exam results, strangely good mates of Mr Cummings and Mr Gove

-Mr Johnson's speech 30th July boastfully announcing what a great job his government has done in bring the numbers of deaths down and its handling of the epidemic

-Trying to shift blame onto PHE to save their shameless skins

-Never taking responsibility for any thing

-Mr Johnson's bright idea to disband the Threat Hazard Resilience and Contingency Committee six months prior to CoVid 19 reaching our shores

-152 million spent on useless face masks from a mate of Liz Truss

-A level results

-Level 3 BTECH results

-GCSE's results

-U turn after U turn, but never an apology

-Sneakily removing 1.3m CoVid19 test results

-"Ring of steel around our care homes"

-Failing in their promise to test everyone in care homes by Aug 1st

-Their quite shocking honours list

-"Operation last gasp"

-Blaming care home providers

-Blaming care home staff

-Mr Johnson missing 5 Cobra meetings

-Mr Johnson going on holiday at outset of pandemic

-29th July Minster stated they had not sent infected people into care homes

-Mr Johnson gas lighting care home staff saying he never said what he said

-Mr Hancock lying in the house of commons that he ordered lock down on the 16th March

-NHS hospital parking charges for NHS workers

-Blaming the Unions

-Blaming the Teachers

-Blaming the Civil Service

-Blaming the public

-Passing the responsibility of workers returning to work onto employers

-Mr Johnson announcing lockdown on the 23rd March

-21,600 deaths in care homes to date due to CoVid 19 (40% of all deaths due to CoVid 19)

-Excess deaths in care homes this year 31,000+

-Second highest death rate per head of residents in care homes in EU

-Worst numbers of deaths in Europe due to CoVid19

-Higher death rate on a single day than the entire rest of EU

-Higher death rate on most days than the following countries have had for the whole of the outbreak and this is just in the EU: Greece, Slovenian, Slovakia, Lithuania, Croatia

-3rd July UK 1.8% of global deaths we only represent 1% of world population

-23rd March UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and six.

-8th July UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and twenty six

-"We have done a great job on bearing down on this virus"

-"The world will be taking note just how well we have performed"

-"Our test and trace system is as good or better than anywhere else in the world"

-"It should be all over by Christmas"

-Pushing responsibility of returning to work onto employers

-Mr Grayling being made head of the intelligence committee

-Mr Fayling even messing this up

-Mr Grayling new 100k job advising ports!

-Trying to to avoid blame for Russia's involvement in the Brexit referendum

-Putting Mr Fox up for head of the WTO

-Forgetting the self employed

-"We will make sure no one is forgotten"

-"I don't do gesture politics"


-Ignoring Cygnus and the short comings it highlighted

-Third & fourth rate cabinet minsters

-Billions spent / wasted on no deal Brexit

-The Farage Cark Parks near major ports

-Cost of above carparks

-Government projected additional costs of UK business trading with the EU 7bn

-End of free health care in Europe

-End of working rights in 27 European countries

-End of free travel across Europe

-English exceptionalism

-"Contract trace and taste"

-Under reporting numbers of deaths for at least 22 days in April

-Testing capacity

-Lying throughout May of the number of people being tested

-Stopping reporting of numbers of people tested daily weekly and monthly

-Stopping reporting of numbers of deaths

-Double counting / testing / PPE

-"World beating track and trace app."

-Self congratulation at every stage

-The no show app. (11 million spent with vote leave spivs)


-Mr Cummings, Easter Holiday / Birthday Parties / Eye Test

-Mr Cummings contemptible rose garden drivel

-Mr Johnson senior contemptible drivel from Greece

-Mr Johnson junior contemptible drivel at PMQs

-Lying constantly at PMQs, lame jokes and infantile behaviour

-One rule for them another for the rest of us

-Unable to speak in sentences

-Dyson ventilators

-Not enough high pressure oxygen to meet demands even though this is what Mr Johnson was treated with so successfully

-Changing admission criteria to hospital the day before Mr Johnson was admitted

-Constant mixed messages

-Russian report

-Never even bothering to investigate whether there was any interference in any of our recent referendums and or elections

-Back to school planning

-8th July Tory party cancel their physical September Conference

-8th July Government announce that all parents who do not send their children to school in September will be fined £60.00 per day. Recently raised to £120.00 per day.

-Free school meals

-Charging EU NHS workers for their health care

-Herd Immunity

-Date of lock down

-Holding back of Pillar 2 data

-Date of Leicester lock down

-"Local councils should show some courage"

-R rate at lock down

-Date of easing of lock down

-R rate at easing of lock down

-Miss information on R rate

-Face masks

-12th July Mr Gove defending not wearing face masks, 14th July government policy now have to wear face masks in all shops

-British common sense

-Lying in The House of Commons

-"Squash the Sombrero"

-"Take it on the chin"

-"I shook hands with everyone"

-Disappearances of comparisons the moment we over took the rest of Europe

-No proper planning for any phase of this terrible epidemic

-Date of introduction of quarantine at borders

-Shambolic air bridges

-6am opening of pubs in England 4th July

They should show some humility, apologies for their abject failures and on mass resign.

Remember Mr Johnson and Mr Cummings are nasty lying knobs.

Micycle Team

If you would like us to add any more to the list, that we might of missed, as sadly their lies have made it almost impossible to listen to their bilge day in day out. Please email us at contact@micycle.org.uk

146, 008UK deaths due to Covid-19 17th October

As the Government avoids mentioning the death toll anymore and we have by far the worst Covid-19 rate and numbers of deaths in Europe.

We at Micycle feel that we should not let our fellow Citizens, Grandparents, Mothers, Fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Sisters, Brothers and Friends be forgotten so quickly.

Mr Johnson faces mounting pressure, as Conservative insiders added weight to claims that the prime minister said he would rather see bodies pile up than order another lockdown. Mr Johnson is total cock and should resign today.

So until this useless, lying, shambolic excuse of a government has finally got this truly horrible epidemic under control we will be updating the ever growing daily death toil, as a very small tribute to all those who are no longer with us.

We do our best to gather the data, so please bear with us if any figures are not 100% accurate. Please remember that they are more likely a lot closer to the real numbers than Mr Johnsons.

On the 12th Aug this shameful government took over 5,000 off the total number of dead, but we at Micycle will be keeping with the original official figure and will be adding the daily totals.
Even this is no where near what the true figures are. Some creditable sources put the true figure at
160, 000+

They just lie and lie and sadly they will most probably get away with making most of us unable to fathom what is the true numbers of deaths their incompetent mishandling of the epidemic has caused.

According to a paper by the University of Leicester 30% of Covid-19 patients discharged from English hospitals were readmitted within five months and almost one in eight of them die, raising further concerns over the accuracy of the widely quoted official figure.

It does appear that they have at last got something right.
The roll out of vaccine is going very well, but this does not let them escape responsibility for the previous car crash and leaving us with this our only route out of the mess they created, so again until they have got control we will keep focusing on the ones we have lost.

Total deaths in the last 24hrs: 57

Deaths since 26th July 2020: 96, 822

These are the numbers, but they are lost individuals many taken long before their time leaving a massive hole in the lives of hundreds of thousands of others.

27th July = 9 28th July =76 29th July = 113
31st July = 117
2nd Aug = 125 3rd Aug = 9
5th Aug = 154 6th Aug = 49 7th Aug = 98
8th Aug = 55 9th Aug = 8 10th Aug = 5
11th Aug = 8 12th Aug = 103 13th Aug = 18
14th Aug = 11 15th Aug = 5 16th Aug = 4
17th Aug = 3 18th Aug = 11 19th Aug = 16
20th Aug = 6 21st Aug = 8 22nd Aug = 6
23rd Aug = 4 24th Aug = 4 25th Aug = 16
26th Aug = 16 27th Aug = 12 28th Aug = 11
29th Aug =12 30th Aug = 1 31st Aug = 2
Aug Total = 725
1st Sept = 11 2nd Sept = 2 3rd Sept = 11
4th Sept = 11 5th Sept = 12 6th Sept = 7
7th Sept = 14 8th Sept = 30 9th Sept = 12
10th Sept = 4 11th Sept = 6 12th Sept = 9
13th Sept = 8 14th Sept = 16 16th Sept = 20
17th Sept = 21 18th Sept = 27 20th Sep = 11
21st Sept = 10 22nd Sept = 37 23rd Sept = 33
24th Sept = 33 25th Sept = 37 26th Sept = 34
27th Sept = 17 28th Sept = 11 29th Sept = 71
30th Sept = 77 Sept Total = 592
1st Oct = 59 2nd Oct = 66 3rd Oct = 51
4th Oct = 29 5th Oct = 19 6th Oct = 76
7th Oct = 71 8th Oct = 77 9th Oct = 87
10th Oct = 81 11th Oct = 61 12th Oct = 55
13th Oct = 143 14th Oct = 137 15th Oct = 138
16th Oct = 136 17th Oct = 150 18th Oct = 67
19th Oct = 80 20th Oct = 241 21st Oct = 191
22nd Oct = 189 23rd Oct = 224 24th Oct = 174
25th Oct = 151 26th Oct = 101 27th Oct = 364
28th Oct = 301 29th Oct = 280 30th Oct = 274
31Oct = 326 Oct Total = 4399
1st Nov = 162 2nd Nov = 136 3rd Nov = 400
4th Nov = 492 5th Nov = 374 6th Nov = 356
7th Nov = 413 8th Nov = 156 9th Nov = 194
10th Nov= 532 11th Nov = 595 12th Nov = 563
13th Nov = 376 14th Nov = 46215th Nov = 168
16th Nov = 213 17th Nov = 589 18th Nov = 529
19th Nov = 501 20th Nov = 511 21st Nov = 341
22nd Nov = 398 23rd Nov = 206 24th Nov= 608
25th Nov= 696 26th Nov = 498 27th Nov = 521
28th Nov = 479 29th Nov = 215
Nov Total = 11,684
1st Dec = 602 2nd Dec = 648 3rd Dec = 414
4th Dec = 504 5th Dec= 397 6th Dec = 231
7th Dec = 189 8th Dec = 616 10th Dec = 513
11th Dec = 516 12th Dec = 424 13th Dec = 519
13th Dec = 144 14th Dec = 232 15th Nov = 506
16th Dec = 612 17th Dec = 532 18th Dec = 489
19th Dec = 534 20th Nov = 326 21st Dec = 215
22nd Dec = 691 23rd Dec = 744 24th Dec =596
25th Dec = 574 26th Dec = 210 27th Dec = 316
28th Dec = 357 29th Dec = 414 30th Dec = 918
31st Dec = 964 Dec Total = 12554
1st Jan = 616 2nd Jan = 445 3rd Jan = 454
4th Jan = 407 5th Jan = 813 6th Jan = 1041
7th Jan = 1162 8th Jan = 1325 16th Jan = 1295
9th Jan = 1035 11th Jan = 526 12th Jan= 1243
13th Jan = 1574 14th Jan = 1284 15th Jan = 1280
17th Jan = 671 18th Jan = 595 19th Jan = 1610
20th Jan = 1820 21st Jan = 1290 22nd Jan = 1401
23rd Jan = 1348 24th Jan = 610 25th Jan = 592
26th Jan = 1636 27th Jan = 1725 28th Jan = 1239
29th Jan = 1245 30th Jan = 1200 31st Jan = 586
Jan Total = 39,342 This month total is only so large
because Mr Johnson played politics with Christmas
he really is a nasty piece of work .
1st Feb = 406 2nd Feb = 1449 3rd Feb = 1332
4th Feb = 723 5th Feb = 1014 6 Feb = 823
7th Feb = 373 8th Feb = 333 9th Feb = 1052
10th Feb = 100111th Feb = 678 12th Feb = 758
13th Feb = 621 14th Feb = 258 15th Feb = 799
17th Feb = 738 18th Feb = 454 19th Feb = 553
20th Feb = 445 21st Feb = 212 22nd Feb = 178
23rd Feb = 548 24th Feb = 448 Feb 25th = 323
26th Feb = 345 27th Feb = 290 28th Feb = 144
Feb Total = 16308
1st March = 103 2nd March = 343 3rd March = 315
4th March = 242 5th March = 236 6th March = 158
7th March = 82 8th March = 65 9th March = 231
10th March = 190 11th March = 181 12th March = 175
13th March = 121 14th March = 51 15th March = 64
16th March = 110 17th March = 141 18th March = 121
26th March = 70 19th March = 101 20th March = 96
21st March = 33 22nd March = 17 23 March = 112
24th March = 98 25th March = 63 27th March = 58
28th March = 19 29th March = 23
30th March = 56 31 March = 43
March Total = 3718
1st April = 51 2nd April = 52 3rd April= 10
4th April = 10 5th April = 23 6th April = 20
7th April = 45 8th April = 53 9th April = 60
10th April = 40 11th April = 7 12th April = 13
13th April = 23 14th April = 38 15 April = 30
16th April = 34 17th April = 35 18th April = 10
19th April = 14
20th April = 33 21st April = 22 22nd April = 18
23rd April = 44 24th April = 33 25th April = 11
26th April = 6 27th April = 17 28thApril = 29
29th April = 22 30th April = 15
April Total =818
1st May = 7 2nd May = 14 3rd May = 1
4th May = 4 5th May = 27 6th May = 13
7th May = 15
8th May = 5 9th May = 2 10th May = 4
11th May = 20 12th May = 11 13th May = 20
14th May = 17 15th May = 7 16th May = 4
17th May = 5 18th May = 7 19th May = 3
20th May = 7 21st May = 9 22nd May = 6
23rd May = 5 24th May = 3 25th May = 15
26th May = 9 27th May = 10 28th May = 10
29th May = 7 30th May = 6 31st May = 1
May Total = 274
!st June = 0 2nd June = 12 3rd June = 18
4th June = 11 5th June = 13 6th June = 1
7th June = 11 8th June = 9th June = 6
10th June = 7 11th June = 17 12th June = 11
13th June = 8 14th June = 3 15th June = 10
16th June = 9 17th June - 19 18th June = 11
19th June = 14 20th June = 6 21st June = 6
22nd June = 27 23rd June = 19 24th June = 21
25th June = 18 26th June = 23 27th June = 11
28th June = 3 29th June = 23 30th June = 14
June total = 360
1st July = 22 2nd July = 27 3rd July= 18
4th July = 15 5th July = 9 6th July = 37
7th July = 33 8th July = 35 9th July = 29
10th July = 26 12th = 6 13th July = 50
14th July = 49 15th July = 51 16th July = 49
17th July = 41 18th July = 25 19th July = 19
20th July = 96 21st July = 73 22nd July = 84
23rd July = 64 24th July = 86 25th July = 26
26th July = 14 27th July = 131 28th July = 91
29th July = 81 30th July = 68 31st July = 71
July Total = 1528
1st Aug = 65 2nd Aug = 24 3rd Aug = 132
4th Aug = 118 5th Aug = 81 6th Aug = 92
7th Aug = 103 8th Aug = 39 9th Aug = 37
10thAug = 146 11th Aug= 104 12th Aug = 94
13th Aug = 100 14th Aug = 93 15th Aug = 61
16th Aug = 26 17th Aug = 170 18th Aug = 111
19th Aug = 113 20th Aug = 114 21st Aug = 104
22nd Aug = 64 23rd Aug = 40 24th Aug = 174
25th Aug = 149 26th Aug = 140 27th Aug = 100
28th Aug = 133 29th Aug = 63 30th Aug = 48
31st Aug = 50
Aug Total =2784
1st Sept = 207 2nd Sept = 178 3rd Sept = 121
4th Sept = 120 5th Sept = 68 6th Sept = 45
7th Sept = 206 8th Sept =140 9th Sept =167
10th Sept = 147 11th Sept = 157 12th Sept = 57
13th Sept = 61 14th Sept = 185 15th Sept = 201
16th Sept = 178 17th Sept = 180 18th Sept = 164
19th Sept = 57 20th Sept = 57 21st Sept = 207
22nd Sept = 165 23rd Sept = 182 24th Sept = 180
25th Sept = 122 26th Sept = 58 27th Sept = 40
28th Sept = 167 29th Sept = 150 30th Sept = 137
Sept Total = 3857 The highest monthly total
since March 2021 truly shocking that this
lying government act like the pandemic is over.
1st Oct = 127 2nd Oct = 121 3rd Oct = 53
4th Oct = 150 5th Oct = 161 6th Oct = 143
We lost another 143 fellow citizens today as
Mr lying Johnson tried in his conference speech
to say that the Pandemic is over what a horrble
man he is. 7th Oct = 122 8th Oct = 127
9th Oct = 133 10th Oct = 37 11th Oct = 181
12th Oct = 147 13th Oct = 137 14th Oct = 157
15th Oct = 145 16th Oct = 148 17th Oct = 57
Oct Total = 2026

Free (Spin) Bikes For NHS Workers

To help show our gratitude for your supreme efforts.
We at Micycle have a number of Spin bikes that we would like to loan out free of charge to any NHS workers.
That are either self-isolating or just keen to keep fit in these strange and stressful times.
We will arrange delivery and pickup.
If interested please call Matthew on 07973195920 to discuss.

All bikes have now gone.

As a tiny further thank you to all those who have borrowed one you are more than welcome to keep it as a very small present from Micycle.

Many thanks to all our NHS workers we all owe you big time.

31st Jan 2020 Sad Day For The UK

We at Micycle have nothing but contempt for the chancers and spivs that have with the help of a bent referendum brought us to this very depressing moment in history.

If you are one of the above please jog on and find another bike shop. You are quite simply not welcome here!

We want to show all our European customers love and support, so all bills paid for in Euros will get a 10% discount.

Thanks Micycle
Johnson and Cummings are Knobs

Booking Your Bike In For Servicing

We have six slots a day that you can pre book your bike into for servicing and repairs.

Please call or pop into the shop to reserve a place. 020 8347 9198

Unlike most cycle shops we also offer an on the spot while you wait small repairs service (punctures, brake and gear adjustments) these repairs are carried out on a first come first served queuing system.

We are a very small shop and storage is always a problem for us, so we would ask you to collect your bike as soon as possible after we have notified you it is ready.

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