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Our Truly Useless Government

There have been too many cock-ups, too much cronyism, too many U-turns, too much overpromising. In January 2021 alone because Mr Johnson played politics with Christmas the UK had 39,430 deaths due to Covid-19.

By no means an exhaustive and in no particular order I give you their lowlights.

-You have to laugh Mr I middle name Smith actual proposed that we should re-adopt imperial measurements since we have left the EU not only did he cock up the universal credit reforms causing untold hardship and worse he now wants the poorly educated gammon to embraces 12inches to the foot and 14 lbs to the stone. Good luck there Mr middle name!!!! Knob head.

-If Mr Hancock is 'fucking hopeless'
' why did the lying Mr Johnson not sack the health Minster in the middle of deadly pandemic did he not want to safe lives??

-Samuel Kasumu said :
“There are some people in the government who feel like the right way to win is to pick a fight on the culture war and to exploit division,” he told the Guardian in an interview. “I worry about that. It seems like people have very short memories, and they’ve already forgotten Jo Cox.”

-4th June Matt Hancock "It's our job to save lives". You lying twat tell that to the 150,000+ dead you knob.

-Maybe this lying bunch of twats know a lot more than us, but why if they are worried about a region and a new infectious variant do we wait five days before putting on the amber lisit makes no sense, but they have not made sense at any point in the pandemic so far. Par for the course.

-You utter KNOB Mr Johnson 'Nothing in data' to suggest delay to 21 June reopening, but PM stresses need for caution. You are a lying scum bag just last week alone new infections rose by over 10,000, because you kept borders open with India when you knew they very fighting a new variant.

-ONE POINT FIVE NINE MILLION travellers have flown into the UK in the four lockdown months from January to April alone, two-thirds of whom were not UK nationals. What a useless bunch of wankers they are.

-This has been an odd day to say the least now Mr Cummings is backing up what we have been saying for over a year now that the government just lie and lie. Dominic Cummings said he called for Matt Hancock to be sacked “almost every day” due to alleged “criminal” behaviour but claimed Boris Johnson was advised to retain the health secretary because “he’s the person you fire when an inquiry comes along”.They should resign on mass.

-We must have reached the very bottom today. Mr Cummings has described and highlighted just how useless Mr Johnson and his shit show of a cabinet has failed our country.

-This will most probably not shock many but Of the 45 constituencies receiving a share of the first £1bn in funding for struggling towns, 39 are represented by Tory MPs most of oddly enough not struggling that much.

-Surprise surprise the lying shambles that is this government is at it again while the Indian variant spreed particular fast in school children in the Bolton area. Scientists, unions and teachers concerns were ignored after the curcial page has been cut from a Public Health England report after interference from number 10.

-Feel a little bit discombobulated today apart from the name Great British Rail and not having the courage to say what it is renationisation of the running of railways I think it is a good idea and moving in the right direction. So lets give the Lying government a slap on the back for this piece of legislation.

-John Crace beautiful summed up the liar Mr Johnson "this is the Johnson paradox. The prime minister with the man-of-the-people vibe who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself."

-Jenny McGee, who kept vigil by PM’s bedside when he was sick with Covid, derides
government’s handling of pandemic. Very sad, but about says all you need know about the shallowness of Lying Mr Johnson and his band of third rate cabinet members.

-Open up, don't open up, go to restaurants, don't go to restaurants, go to shops, don't go to shops, go on holiday, don't go on holiday, hug your friends, don't hug your friends, go back to work, work from home. About says it all, but remember if it goes well it is the government good decision, but if it goes tits up like everything else that this bunch of lying tossers have done surprise surprise it is our fault.

-No 10 has defended its decision not to ban travel from India sooner, as India was reporting more than 100,000 cases a day by 5 April, but was not added to the red list until 23 April. Just how crap this government is open to debate, but this late sloppy bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted takes the piss of us the public. Pakistan with one hundred of the infection rate of Indian was on the red lisi on the 9th April. Yes go figure that one you fawning Mr Johnson supporters.

-Mr Hancock and Ms Patel how many more times do we have to hear your whinging bleatings it was a pandemic that is why we had to favour a mate with a spec-tactically large juicy fat government PPE contract!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pair of moaning creeps.

-At Micycle we are shocked down to our bottom bracket Mr Johnson has apparently been lying again about the cost of his holiday and who paid for it. But his poorly educated fans just keep their heads firmly buried in the sand.

-Oddly enough I feel for our hopeless government in this area as it it impossible to say how the Covid-19 virus will mutate, but why on earth did Mr Johnson spout of for the last couple of months we are on an irreversible roadmap out of lockdown. As the brilliant Marina Hyde said of that other lovely Tory the Nice Mr Cameron he is ducking aunt which I think is an adpet description of the Lying Mr Johnson.

-We have known for a very long time that Mr Johnson is a liar, but now we know he is a coward only interested in him self as he tries to bury the inquiry into his shoddy handling of the pandemic.

-The good folk of Hartlepool decided to reject a NHS doctor and his nurse wife in favour of a land owning ex tax dodging haven dweller. Are you really that Stupid!

-Nappy Gate? Mr Raab, who we thought was hiding in a fridge has said he does not know if a Conservative donor was asked to pay for Boris Johnson’s childcare costs, amid new allegations of undeclared donations and loans to fund the prime minister’s lifestyle.

-Is it possible that anyone could have done more to let down Zaghari-Ratcliffe not only has she had to spend the last five years in jail partly due to Mr Johnson big mouth, but it also appears that she will have to spend at least another year in jail due to our Governments poor negotiation skills. Get your arse off the Rattan sofa and do something Mr Johnson.

-Seems like other people are also under no illusions of what a liar Mr Johnson is

-The failure of Greensill Capital will cost UK taxpayers up to £5bn, a parliamentary inquiry has heard, as one expert said the lender’s business model was “as close to fraud as you could imagine”.

-Not sure this bunch of liars can sink much lower, but they are giving it a really good go. No 10 refuses to deny PM said he would rather ‘let the virus rip’ than impose strict curbs. We can not wait for the British Public to wake up a smell the stench that is coming off this truly appalling government

-Not normally a paper we read but this caught our eye this morning. Daily Mail reported an unnamed source as claiming Johnson said at a Downing Street meeting in October: “No more fucking lockdowns – let the bodies pile high in their thousands.” Not only he is a lying knob, but a particularly nasty one at that.

-In a recent poll of Northern Ireland voters last week, only 5% of respondents said they trusted the UK government to handle Northern Ireland’s interests in post-Brexit arrangements. One wonders how deluded this 5% are to belive anything this lying government les by Mr Lying himself.

-The seven principles of public life, integrity, selflessness, objectivity, accountability, openness, honesty and leadership. Enunciated by Lord Nolan in 1995, sadly our own lying Mr Johnson has or follows none of the above.

-Obviously Mr Johnson is lying again stating that the No. 11 refurbishment cost £58k which he funded personally. While a former colleague. The former attorney general Dominic Grieve has described Boris Johnson as a “vacuum of integrity” as the prime minister came under pressure to explain how the refurbishment of the Downing Street flat was paid for following an explosive attack by his former chief adviser Dominic Cummings.

-That nice Mr Cummings seems to be coming around to having the same impression of Mr Johnson that we at Micycle have had for some considerable time now that he just lies and lies.
In his normal friendly manner the Ex-aide alleges PM tried to quash leak inquiry that implicated ally and wanted donors to fund work on flat. Happy days.

-Dodgy Mr Cameron snuffling at the tax payers trough luckly for us he is so useless it all rather back fired on him.

-Dodgy Mr Hancock oddly enough forgot to mention that a company he owns 15% share in is owned by his Mum and Sister and yes they have been getting large contracts from the NHS. Nothing to see here except another lying self serving Tory.

-Between April and November 2020 – the most recent month for which figures have been published – Conservative MPs claimed almost £3m in housing rent on expenses.
The Observer has identified 42 Conservative MPs who claim their own rent on expenses while at the same time renting out other residential properties for at least £10,000 a year in income.

-Officials at Downing Street have been accused of rewriting much of its controversial report into racial and ethnic disparities, despite appointing an independent commission to conduct an honest investigation into inequality in the UK. Well that must of shocked you all they do is lie and then lie some more.

-In December 2019, Boris Johnson opted to put the border in the Irish Sea to get his Brexit deal over the line. He then chose to lie about it, live on TV, saying there would be no border and that no one would have to fill in any forms.
At the beginning of this year, however, the truth began to seep through. Unionists found it hard to believe that the British PM would have brazenly lied to them. We are Micycle are not at all surprised that the lying Mr Johnson lied, as they say a leopard can not change its spots.

-Leading scientists warned last night that the government was risking a third wave of Covid-19 by easing the lockdown at a time when official data still shows virus hotspots across many parts of the country.

-Can this repulsive government sink any lower A Conservative MP has kept the party whip despite sending sexually suggestive messages to a young female intern, and complaints about his behaviour towards a male parliamentary worker.

-In its annual report on human rights around the world, Amnesty International says the UK’s increasingly hostile attitude towards upholding and preserving human rights legislation raises “serious concerns”.

-Rats in a sack, Mr Duncan ex MP calls Mr Williamson “over-ambitious, claiming he was pushing for the position of home secretary when Amber Rudd resigned over the Windrush scandal, and denounces him as a “venomous, self-seeking little shit” as he accuses him of working against the then prime minister, Theresa May.

-I thought he was just a lying knob but I think Mr Duncan has a much better insight than me.
Boris Johnson’s former deputy at the Foreign Office has described him as an “embarrassing buffoon” in a new book.
Mr Duncan, the MP for Rutland and Melton from 1992 until the last election, said the prime minister was “a clown, a self-centred ego, an embarrassing buffoon, with an untidy mind and sub-zero diplomatic judgment”.
He is an international stain on our reputation,” Duncan added.

-Black and minority ethnic business leaders who contributed to the controversial government report on race have widely condemned its findings, saying their recommendations were ignored.

-The government has scrapped its flagship green homes grant scheme, the centrepiece of Boris Johnson’s promise to “build back greener” from the Covid-19 pandemic, just over six months after its launch.

-Stewart Lee beautiful summed up the hopeless Mr Johnson, last Tuesday, when Dominic Yateswinelodge from the Metro asked Shake Hands live on TV: “When the time comes to describe this period to future generations, how will we explain how Britain suffered the highest death toll in Europe and the deepest recession?”, Boris Herd Immunity Johnson replied: “About aaah about aah you know your sort of league table question I I I you know I think I mean I er respectfully er go back to the answer you would have heard from the podium many times which is that the er the er the the pandemic is er alas tragically is not over yet er across the world and we will continue to er protect everyone is er to the to the er to the best of to the best of our abilities. This this this is not over and I think the international comparisons are are are premature at this stage.”
Cunning Shake Hands’s calculated ineloquence had created the illusion that something, of some sort, had been said.

-Do you think that the commercial landlords who are big Tory supporters might have been having a little word in Mr Johnson ear. Mr Johnson has sparked new controversy over when employees should return to their workplaces by suggesting people have had enough “days off” at home during the pandemic, and should try to go back to their offices. You can just stop lying can you Mr Johnson.

-Wonder why this loop hole has been inculded the government has introduced a regulation that allows people to leave the UK to prepare a second home for sale or rent. Mr Johnson's Dad!

-We only have 130k dead and this bunch of muppets say the union flag should be flown from all UK government buildings every day and councils will be urged to do the same from their premises, ministers have announced, you could not make it up the drivel they come out with.

-David Cameron is being investigated by a lobbying watchdog after reports he contacted government officials on behalf of financial services company Greensill Capital.

-John Crace writing in the Guardian beautiful sums up the Knob that is Johnson "
There again, Johnson probably couldn’t do his job without a high level of denial about the mistakes he has made. If he were to seriously think of the consequences of some of his decisions, then he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night."
-Boris Johnson has told a private meeting of Tory MPs that the UK got its Covid vaccinations under way quickly thanks to "capitalism" and "greed". No decent hardworking NHS workers has delivered us the vaccine success you nasty lying man Mr Johnson.

-Billionaire tax exiles, the British National party, Saudi royals and oil-rich Gulf states have claimed millions of pounds in taxpayer-funded furlough money,.

-Following on from the police handling of the Clapham Common Vigil some police chiefs feel ‘hung out to dry’ as memo reveals home secretary’s enforcement call the Friday before. Oh ms Patel up to your bullying tendencies again.

-Nicholas Macpherson, the former permanent secretary to the Treasury, tweeted of the Tezt and Trace roll out: “It wins the prize for the most wasteful and inept public spending programme of all time.”

-Delaying the winter lockdown caused up to 27,000 extra deaths in England, the Resolution Foundation thinktank has claimed as it accused the government of a “huge mistake” which should be central to any public inquiry into the UK’s handling of the pandemic.

-We wonder why this shameful government has been avoiding an inquiry into the handling of the pandemic the people want one. Exclusive: Guardian poll reveals 47% of people support formal independent investigation while only 18% oppose

-At the start of the pandemic Mr Johnson was even heard to say: "The best thing would be to ignore it." And he repeatedly warned, several sources tell me, that an overreaction could do more harm than good.

-Four of Boris Johnson’s most senior staff suggested that Cabinet Office civil servants should hire a company owned by Conservative party allies, one of whom co-wrote the Tories’ 2019 election manifesto.

-A MPs’ report was scathing on UK’s handling and sharing of Covid data the Committee says the government’s lack of sufficient explanation has placed needless strain on public confidence.
The very nice Mr Gove got a particular thrashing for his contempt at not appearing before the committee and sending poorly briefed Minister in his place he really is a knob.

-Hundreds of key research projects aimed at tackling some of the world’s major problems – from antimicrobial resistance to the climate crisis – will have to be cancelled or cut back thanks to budget cuts imposed by the government.

-The test and trace programme is a staggeringly expensive scheme and was recently described by Nick Macpherson, who used to be the most senior civil servant at the Treasury, as the “most wasteful and inept public spending programme of all time”.

-British government fund established to prop up the arts and heritage sectors during the coronavirus pandemic has handed over little more than half of the money it has allocated.

-11th March The snouts have really been in the Serco trough this time, Nicholas Soames, the grandson of Winston Churchill, was paid £4.9m in total, taking his total earnings from the outsourcing firm to £23.5m since he joined in 2015. Cockburn was paid £2.4m for 2020. Much of this off government contracts how low can they go!!!!!!!

11th March You could not make this up the two top executives at Serco, one of the companies behind the government’s much-criticised £37bn test-and-trace scheme, were handed pay of £7.4m for 2020, including bonuses worth £5.5m.

-10th March Mr Johnson caught lying once again at PMQ's stating that Labour party had vote against a 2.1% increase in nurses wages and then refusing to return to House of Commons to apologise. Mr Johnson behaviour is not clever and not what we the voting public should put up with from our PM.

-Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s Budget last week included an additional £15bn for test and trace, taking the total bill to more than £37bn over two years. We can not afford to give the nurses a real pay rise?

-9th March There is no evidence to show that the government’s £22bn test-and-trace programme to combat Covid-19 in England contributed to a reduction in coronavirus infection levels, parliament’s spending watchdog has concluded.

-7th March Gavin Williamson, the education secretary, is facing criticism for awarding another £190m contract to a company blamed for the problems with a school meals voucher system in England that left families without food during the first lockdown.

6th March Downing Street has spent more than £2.6m on renovations to hold White House-style press briefings – prompting a call for Boris Johnson to “hang his head in shame” given the 1% pay rise recommended for NHS staff.

-5th March Not very surprising from the lying Mr Johnson, but possibly a new low: Mr Johnson had told parliament on 22 February: "All I will say is that the contracts are there on the record for everybody to see.” the latest document from the court confirms that the prime minister misled MPs even after it was ruled that the government had broken the law. Maybe he should consider his position as his Scottish Tory MP's and the right wing press were asking M/S Sturgeon to do for 'lying in parliament' earlier this week!

-5th March Crispin Blunt, a co-chair of the all-party parliamentary group for drug policy reform, said more than a third of all European drug deaths occurred in the UK, and OPCs should be established to reduce record levels of overdose deaths.

-5th March Mr Cummings got a 45k rise in the middle of the pandemic about 30% but Mr Johnson has decided to give NHS 1%.
Health unions reacted angrily to this proposal. “A 1% pay rise is the worst kind of insult the government could give health workers who’ve given their absolute everything over the past year. The public will be horrified. Staff will think it’s some kind of joke,” said Sara Gorton, the head of health at Unison.

-4th March Labour's leader has accused ministers of favouring Conservative areas for funding under a £1bn scheme to boost struggling towns in England.Sir Keir Starmer said regeneration money for 45 towns announced at the Budget "looks fishy" because the large majority 40 are represented by Tory MPs.
He called for criteria for the allocations, made under the Towns Fund, to be published.

-4th March The government has settled with former civil servant Sir Philip Rutnam over his claim for unfair dismissal. Sources close to Sir Philip confirmed to BBC Radio 4's PM programme that he received £340,000 plus his legal costs.
The ex-Home Office boss quit amid bullying claims against Home Secretary Priti Patel, which she denies. Of course she does! We at Micycle believe her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-4th March It appears that of all the millions of personal details logged when people were visiting shops and bars in the summer only 284 were followed up o, lucky The world beating trace has only cost the UK tax payer 15 plus billion. Yet another great result from this cracking government.

-2nd March Mr Johnson has spaffed loads of money on doing up No. 11.

-1st March About two-thirds of people in England and Wales trying to access the £500 self-isolation support payment are being rejected, according to figures obtained by BBC Reality Check. Quel surprise!

-1st March you could make this up a PR firm owned by Matthew Freud, who was closely associated with the Conservatives during David Cameron’s time as prime minister, was awarded a contract to provide “strategic communications”, including “reputation management”, for England’s beleaguered coronavirus test-and-trace system without a tender process.

-The government talks of not playing politics with Covid, of listening only to impartial science, but in fact its approach is deeply political: every triumph it claims for itself, every failure belongs to all of us. Privatise the wins, socialise the losses.

-A judge described the government position on not publishing details of contracts "historic failure" by the department, adding: "The public were entitled see who this money was going to, what it was being spent on and how the relevant contracts were awarded."

-17th Feb A “perfect storm” of low wages, cramped housing and failures of the £22bn test-and-trace scheme has led to “stubbornly high” coronavirus rates in England’s most deprived communities, an unpublished government report has found.

-Downing Street’s enthusiasm for getting some – arguably any – kind of “war on the woke” going in time to motivate the troops for this spring’s local and mayoral elections is all too clear. Sadly this tacit will work and the Muppets will get soooooooo angry.

-Un tendered contacts go to numerous companies with links to Dominic Cummings, Michael Gove and other senior Tories that had been granted emergency contracts for government work. Well that is shock to us all.

-Mr Williamson very very very worried about free speech in schools and university rather than getting kids and young people back to school safely oh and yes not bothering to get teachers vaccinated. The very worst Education secretary.

-16th Feb more irrelevant rubbish from a government with the highest death rate per captia in the world. The government is to introduce legislation that will enable academics, students or visiting speakers who are no-platformed to sue universities for compensation where they feel they have suffered because of free speech infringements. What a bunch of twats they are, so sad we have these third graders at the centre of government.

-15th Feb Border staff received guidelines on how to execute England’s new “red list” quarantine rules in an email two and a half hours before they came into force in a rollout that one worker described as “an absolute joke”.

-13th Feb Worst death rate per capita in the world and worst economic slump in the world. Now that really is world beating Mr Johnson.

-Quarantine at airports and ports a year to late and within five minutes of going live the online booking system goes down and is still not up and running 24hrs later. No doubt world beating Mr Johnson you lying knob.

-Dominic Cummings was instrumental in the process of awarding a government contract without tender to a company run by his “friends”, according to court documents that raise questions about whether the Cabinet Office may have misled the public.

-14th Feb We are now going to have bridges and tunnels between Scotland & Northern Ireland aren't we lucky that we have such a world beating Mr Johnson who can no doubt personal dig and build them himself after all he has all the high viz jackets a lying Knob could want.

-Sterile gowns were bought for £70m from a US firm last year, but safety concerns were raised when they arrived in one layer of protective packaging. The contract had not requested double packaging, as used in sterile settings. Another cracking deal done by our world beating government!

-Matt Hancock received donations (£36k) from the chair of an influential conservative thinktank after it published a report saying there was “no reason to be grateful” for the NHS during the coronavirus pandemic. Mr Hancock do the decent thing pay the money back apologise and then resign.

-Peter Oborne has now come to senses after years of praising Mr Johnson writes in his new book:
“What led the British people to put a liar into Downing Street?” Your previous cringe worth support Mr Oborne?

-The lies just keep on coming:
Whitehall sources vehemently rejected that claim, insisting freight flows were up to 95% or even 100% of normal levels on some days in January – though part of the RHA’s argument was that in many cases lorries were travelling back empty from the UK to the EU.
-We now have a Intresting situation where Mr Gove is trying to negotiate a relaxing of the friction on the Northern Irish boarder that the lying Mr Johnson insists no British PM would ever agree to and does no exist.

-The Department for Education (DfE) was “surprisingly unconcerned” with suspected large profits made by a private contractor at the centre of a free school meals fiasco and failed to reduce the costs, parliament’s spending watchdog has concluded.

-More than 1,000 people in the UK have died of Covid on average each day in January, making it the deadliest month of the pandemic so far by the government’s count, with more than 28,000 deaths as of Thursday.

-One year after the first known Covid death took place, the overall death toll, including all mentions of coronavirus on death certificates, has passed 120,000.

-Government official numbers of deaths due to CoVid 19 100,000+ (pre the reduction of the figure
by 5,000+). Highest number of deaths per capita than all other G20 countries.

-29th Jan The International Monetary Fund has downgraded forecasts for the UK’s recovery this year while the expansion of the global economy, aided by accelerating vaccine rollouts, is expected to gather pace.

-27th Jan Prof Linda Bauld, public health expert from the University of Edinburgh, said the UK's poor Covid-19 outcomes was due to "a legacy of poor decisions that were taken when we eased restrictions".

-The government spent £530m on showy Nightingale infrastructure for healthcare – but failed to invest in the staff who provide it

-25th Jan Over half of the HGV lorries delivering goods to this country are returning empty. Who do you think got the better end of the Brexit deal Mt Johnson?

-26th Jan Boris Johnson has insisted his government “did everything we could” to limit coronavirus deaths and expressed sorrow after the total UK death toll exceeded 100,000 on nearly every metric, but refused to discuss the reasons why it might be so high. This man is a utter cock it is because he is so totally unsuited to any job where you have think of others. Hang your head in shame Mr Johnson, you will go down as a even worst PM than Mr Cameron. How you can tussle your hair prior to telling the nation that we have worst death rate in the world is so contemptable that words fail me you total and complete knob.

-23rd Jan In an extraordinary twist to the Brexit saga, UK small businesses are being told by advisers working for the Department for International Trade (DIT) that the best way to circumvent border issues and VAT problems that have been piling up since 1 January is to register new firms within the EU single market, from where they can distribute their goods far more freely.

-What did Johnson, Gove and co claim? That Brexit would free us from all that Brussels red tape and wasteful bureaucracy. And what has the great deal achieved? The strangulation of cross-Channel and cross-Irish Sea trade, the erection of huge regulatory barriers in the UK, and an increase in costly, very British, bureaucracy.

-Cracking deal Mr Johnson, British shoppers who bought items from European websites are facing post-Brexit demands of more than £100 in import duties that must be paid before parcel firms will deliver the items.

-21st Jan More snuffling from the tax payers trough a company linked to the Conservative party donor and former treasurer Lord Ashcroft has been awarded a contract worth £350m by the government to provide laboratory staff for the Covid-19 testing operation.

-21st Jan British government refusing to give EU ambassador full rights and protection. Can you get any more petty Mr Johnson?

-20th Jan Thressa May "in her view, Johnson has failed to honour British values by threatening to break international law during Brexit trade negotiations and backing out of the foreign aid target, writing that these two manoeuvres had not raised our credibility in the eyes of the world”.

-19th Jan John Crace" On the day that the UK took poll position in the number of deaths per capita in the coronavirus pandemic – I’m not sure that’s what the prime minister had in mind when he described the country as world-beating – one of the biggest political stories was whether Boris Johnson treated himself to power naps during the course of his working day"

-18 days since we left the EU and Scottish and Devon fishermen protesting in London how they had been lied to by an incompetent government.

-18th Jan Mr Johnson wipps his MPs to abstain on opposition motion to retain the £20 per week uplift to universal credit payments.

-20th Jan 'Absolute carnage': EU hauliers reject UK jobs over Brexit rules. Not even three weeks since entering ing the summer uplands!

-18th Jan A new low even for Mr Johnson suggest that tabling a debate on universal credit and free school meals would lead to the left making trouble akin to the storming of the Capitol in the US.

-14th Jan Mr Reece Mog "They are British fish and they are better and happier for it". What a Kipper!

-15th Jan The UK economy is heading for a double-dip recession after official figures confirmed a renewed slump in November as the second wave of the coronavirus pandemic took hold.

-Jan 2021 food boxes to cover free school meal provision. Supposed value of £30.00 (if food was bought from Asda cost under £6.00) provided by company with close ties to Mr Johnsons party and history of donations to the Tory party.

-Mr Johnson stands by fisheries minister Victoria Prentis over admission she was too ‘busy’ to read deal, as SNP calls for resignation.

-Conservative MPs representing fishing areas angry , including in Scotland, over red tape and delays caused by the introduction of the post-Brexit fishing regime.

-Speaking to the liaison committee on Wednesday, prime minister Boris Johnson did not appear to grasp the situation facing British touring acts, incorrectly stating that British musicians have “the right to go play in any EU country for 90 out of 180 days” – the EU proposal that the government turned down.

-11th Jan 21 Mr Handcock "people should not bend the rules to suit themselves it cost lives"

-10th Jan 21 Mr Johnson goes on bike ride 7 miles from home, out of his local area not sure if bike was driven there, but sadly again taking us for fools. Two woman who drove 5 miles for walk fined £200!

-2017 Mr Johnson voicing his support for a NOBLE PEACE PRIZE for Mr Trump. Another good call by our esteemed leader Mr Johnson.

-As John Crace so beautiful put it Mr Johnson is "A man pathologically unable to make the right calls at the right time. The prime minister is a narcissistic charlatan.".

-2016 Mr Johnson under no circumstances would we ever withdraw from the Erusmas program 2020 Mr Johnson with draws uk from Erusmas.

-Extending the Christmas recess to 11th Jan to yet further avoid scrutiny and obviously a PMQs which Mr Johnson is not very good at.

-16th Dec "It would be inhuman to cancle Christmas"

-19th Dec Christmas cancled.

-23rd Dec 2000 hgv waiting to leave the Uk

-Covid 19 late December out of contol Government no ideas and no plan what to do.

-Four and half years since bent referendum only left with ffish. The gammon will never learn should have paid a little more attention at school.

-Trying to blame the leaders of Manchester City area for Covid 19 deaths irony has final died

-Mr Johnson 27th Nov "Keeping our foot on the neck of the beast" What a total knob!

-4 years and 5 months on from the bent referendum and this bunch of lying pigmies still have no idea what 'the easiest deal in history' will look like.

-21st October Mr Johnson lying again in the house of commons the house of commons that is some how it is Mr Khan fault that TFL is in debt not the pandemic

-Mr Johnsons deluded conference speech 6th October

-Mr Johnson has no idea how to get R rate down or even his own rules of what we need to do in what tier

-Mr Johnson unable to answer any question at PMQ wanting to discredit the whole process

-Mr Johnson Brexit dead lines time and again backing down and extending talks what a knob, 16th Oct again backing away from his 15th Deadline

-Missed 16,000 positive cases in last seven days 5th Oct, possible 50k plus missed track and trace

-Mr Johnson unable to explain how the above 22,000 cases were omitted from the daily totals

-Unable to get on top of second wave numbers of infections 3rd Oct over 12000 that day alone

-Passing of the internal market bill a very sad day for the rule of law

-Don't even know their own lock down rules truly pathetic

-Kent access permits

-Students being locked in their halls of residents

-Track and trace app not working with NHS Covid 19 Tests

-Provision for 7,000 queuing lorries in Kent

-Trip to Italy?

-Highest excess numbers of deaths in the whole of Europe, ONS announced 30th July

-"Flattening the hump of the camel"

-Moonshot test drivel 10th Sept

-Test and trace 16th September

-Mr Mogg HofC 17th Sept" we should stop carping and congratulate the Government for their test track record"

-M/s Dido drivel to the select committee 18th September

-U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn U- turn after after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn after U-turn, never anyone in government taking responsibility or doing the right thing and resigning.

-Breaking International law just a tiny winy bit.

-Mr T Abbott

-"He is a Prime Minster of a freedom loving country" latest drivel from Mr Johnson

-Worst Prime Minster ever ever ever ever (Nick Abbot LBC best radio DJ ever ever ever)

-Worst Home Secretary ever

-Worst Foreign Secretary ever

-Worst worst Education Secretary ever

-Worst Trade Secretary ever

-Worst Business Secretary ever

-Worst LEADER OF THE HOUSE EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER complete and utter cock

-Worst worst worst worst NI Secretary ever

-Worst Government ever and that is after Mrs May's

-"Oven ready deal" election campaign slogan 2019. August 2020 deal with EU looks "very unlikely"

-Mr Johnson reneging on WA 7th Sept 2020 complete and utter ......

-Mr Johnson off on holiday through out the whole of the exam debacle

-Mass reduction of the numbers of deaths

-Awarding of non tendered contract to Public Frist who helped fuck up exam results, strangely good mates of Mr Cummings and Mr Gove

-Mr Johnson's speech 30th July boastfully announcing what a great job his government has done in bring the numbers of deaths down and its handling of the epidemic

-Trying to shift blame onto PHE to save their shameless skins

-Never taking responsibility for any thing

-Mr Johnson's bright idea to disband the Threat Hazard Resilience and Contingency Committee six months prior to CoVid 19 reaching our shores

-152 million spent on useless face masks from a mate of Liz Truss

-A level results

-Level 3 BTECH results

-GCSE's results

-U turn after U turn, but never an apology

-Sneakily removing 1.3m CoVid19 test results

-"Ring of steel around our care homes"

-Failing in their promise to test everyone in care homes by Aug 1st

-Their quite shocking honours list

-"Operation last gasp"

-Blaming care home providers

-Blaming care home staff

-Mr Johnson missing 5 Cobra meetings

-Mr Johnson going on holiday at outset of pandemic

-29th July Minster stated they had not sent infected people into care homes

-Mr Johnson gas lighting care home staff saying he never said what he said

-Mr Hancock lying in the house of commons that he ordered lock down on the 16th March

-NHS hospital parking charges for NHS workers

-Blaming the Unions

-Blaming the Teachers

-Blaming the Civil Service

-Blaming the public

-Passing the responsibility of workers returning to work onto employers

-Mr Johnson announcing lockdown on the 23rd March

-21,600 deaths in care homes to date due to CoVid 19 (40% of all deaths due to CoVid 19)

-Excess deaths in care homes this year 31,000+

-Second highest death rate per head of residents in care homes in EU

-Worst numbers of deaths in Europe due to CoVid19

-Higher death rate on a single day than the entire rest of EU

-Higher death rate on most days than the following countries have had for the whole of the outbreak and this is just in the EU: Greece, Slovenian, Slovakia, Lithuania, Croatia

-3rd July UK 1.8% of global deaths we only represent 1% of world population

-23rd March UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and six.

-8th July UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and twenty six

-"We have done a great job on bearing down on this virus"

-"The world will be taking note just how well we have performed"

-"Our test and trace system is as good or better than anywhere else in the world"

-"It should be all over by Christmas"

-Pushing responsibility of returning to work onto employers

-Mr Grayling being made head of the intelligence committee

-Mr Fayling even messing this up

-Mr Grayling new 100k job advising ports!

-Trying to to avoid blame for Russia's involvement in the Brexit referendum

-Putting Mr Fox up for head of the WTO

-Forgetting the self employed

-"We will make sure no one is forgotten"

-"I don't do gesture politics"


-Ignoring Cygnus and the short comings it highlighted

-Third & fourth rate cabinet minsters

-Billions spent / wasted on no deal Brexit

-The Farage Cark Parks near major ports

-Cost of above carparks

-Government projected additional costs of UK business trading with the EU 7bn

-End of free health care in Europe

-End of working rights in 27 European countries

-End of free travel across Europe

-English exceptionalism

-"Contract trace and taste"

-Under reporting numbers of deaths for at least 22 days in April

-Testing capacity

-Lying throughout May of the number of people being tested

-Stopping reporting of numbers of people tested daily weekly and monthly

-Stopping reporting of numbers of deaths

-Double counting / testing / PPE

-"World beating track and trace app."

-Self congratulation at every stage

-The no show app. (11 million spent with vote leave spivs)


-Mr Cummings, Easter Holiday / Birthday Parties / Eye Test

-Mr Cummings contemptible rose garden drivel

-Mr Johnson senior contemptible drivel from Greece

-Mr Johnson junior contemptible drivel at PMQs

-Lying constantly at PMQs, lame jokes and infantile behaviour

-One rule for them another for the rest of us

-Unable to speak in sentences

-Dyson ventilators

-Not enough high pressure oxygen to meet demands even though this is what Mr Johnson was treated with so successfully

-Changing admission criteria to hospital the day before Mr Johnson was admitted

-Constant mixed messages

-Russian report

-Never even bothering to investigate whether there was any interference in any of our recent referendums and or elections

-Back to school planning

-8th July Tory party cancel their physical September Conference

-8th July Government announce that all parents who do not send their children to school in September will be fined £60.00 per day. Recently raised to £120.00 per day.

-Free school meals

-Charging EU NHS workers for their health care

-Herd Immunity

-Date of lock down

-Holding back of Pillar 2 data

-Date of Leicester lock down

-"Local councils should show some courage"

-R rate at lock down

-Date of easing of lock down

-R rate at easing of lock down

-Miss information on R rate

-Face masks

-12th July Mr Gove defending not wearing face masks, 14th July government policy now have to wear face masks in all shops

-British common sense

-Lying in The House of Commons

-"Squash the Sombrero"

-"Take it on the chin"

-"I shook hands with everyone"

-Disappearances of comparisons the moment we over took the rest of Europe

-No proper planning for any phase of this terrible epidemic

-Date of introduction of quarantine at borders

-Shambolic air bridges

-6am opening of pubs in England 4th July

They should show some humility, apologies for their abject failures and on mass resign.

Remember Mr Johnson and Mr Cummings are nasty lying knobs.

Micycle Team

If you would like us to add any more to the list, that we might of missed, as sadly their lies have made it almost impossible to listen to their bilge day in day out. Please email us at contact@micycle.org.uk

Cracking team what could possibly go wrong: Knob 1, Knob 2 and mega Knob 3! We will leave it to you to work out which one is the mega.